A Life After
by ArdinaSeeto1991
Summary: Dimitri has told Rose that he wants a child with Tasha, leaving Rose heartbroken and lonely. How will Rose react to the news? And what happens when all doesn't turn out the way he wanted. How will Rose react when Dimitri decides to come back to Rose? Or will the past be the start of something new? *I DONT OWN ANYTHING IN RELATION TO THIS STORY'S ORIGINS*
1. Chapter 1

*ROSE POV*

"What do you mean?"

"Roza... "

"No dont you dare Roza me. Just tell me whats going on."

"I have taken Tashas offer. You need to know that what we had will always be the most beautiful thing that ever happened. But Im thinking about my future. I want a family, and I know thats not your fault. But I want to be able to be a father and I want that with you, but that cant happen. And I know that even if we did stay together, I would eventually start to hate us and I dont want that."

I could see where he was coming from, but it still didnt make my heart hurt any less. I was a strong person, able to break bones and kill in a second, but this was a whole different type of pain. It was something I could touch or hold or even begin to grasp at. It was invisible, floating and stabbing me right in the chest. I could see the pain in his eyes, but more than that I could see that what he was saying, he felt. There was no trace of lies or deception. What he was saying came from his heart and I couldnt hate him for that even if I tried.

"Well go. The cabin was great, but it wasnt life changing. You do what you need to."

I had to lie. I had to keep up this ficade that he didnt just shatter my heart into millions of little peices. I had to lie to myself, or there would be no way that I would make it through the rest of my life intact. If he wanted out, I would give it to him.

"Roza, I dont want to cut you out of my life. I still want to be friends. I I still want to be apart of your life, just not in the way you want."

"But thats where your wrong Gardian Belikov, I dont want you at all."

I then walked calmly away. I couldnt let him see that I had tears in my eyes; I couldnt let him see that my hands were shaking and that every bit of my being was yelling at me to run off. He wanted a family and a life without me, and I would give him that.


	2. Chapter 2

*ROSE POV*

That night I cried. I cried more than I thought I had in me. And when I thought I couldnt cry anymore, I did again and again. I thought by then end of the night, my pain would be over, that I wouldnt hurt anymore. But it wouldnt stop. I kept replaying the last words I said to him. I should have fought for him, I should have yelled and screamed and broken something to make him understand. I should have done anything, but all I did was give up. I had given him what he wanted, and there in the middle of my pain was the reason. I didnt want to hurt him. I loved him enough to let him do what he wanted. I walked away head held high and hopes down low, but I had walked away. The next day was worse. I woke up feeling I had been beaten within an inch of my life, my eyes hurt, my body ached and there seemed to be a weight on my shoulders, pulling me down. As I got out of bed, I heard a knock at my door.

"Go away."

Another knock.

"I said go away."

Another knock.

Getting up I unlocked my door and opened stood Adrian. If had been anyone else, I would have told them to get lost and slammed the door shut smiling.

"Hey there little Dhampir"

"Adrian, I am not in the mood."

"Ohh I know. Im here to pick you up and escort you to Dimitri and Tasha's farewell party."

"You really think I would want to go? Just say I couldnt make it."

"Come on Rose. Just get it over and done with."

He then took my hand and closed the door. His hand was warm and it made the pain in my chest hurt a little less. I wasnt entirely gone but it didnt make me want to throw punches at the brick wall.

"I will be there the whole time. It will be ok"

Before I knew it I was in Adrians car on our way to the resturant just 10 mins from the accademy. Adrian had insisted that it was a 'formal' occasion and that everyone there would be dressed up. Looking in on Lissa, I could see that she was on her way too and she was indeed dressed up and apparently so was Christian. I was dressed in a figure hugging black gown. It was floor length and backless, that dipped to the base of back. There was small silver detailing at the end of the dress that made it look glittzier than just a plain black dress. I wore my hair up in a loose bun, but allowed some hair to fall naturally in random places. My stake was strapped to my thigh, and was easy to grab because of the slit that ran to the middle of my thigh.

"Im telling you Adrian, this dress it too much. I dont understand why I cant just wear what I want."

"Rose, please just for once listen to me. And just shut up. Its going to be fine."

I looked out the window, into the darkness and couldn help but feel a little wounded.

"Hey, Im sorry I snapped at you. It just gets me angry when you doubt yourself. You look amazing. If you were mine, I would have suggested we just stay in."

We were pulling up to the resturant, and I could see that Lissa, Christian, Eddie and one other Guardian came walking out. They all looked really good. I had to admit it, even though I hated being here, it had given us an excuse to get all dressed up and have a night out.

"Hey Rose, you look so good honey."

"Hey you scrub up well to Lissa."

She was wearing a baby blue halter dress. It was short and had little flowers in the laced puffy bottom. It was all legs and back, and it made me smile, because she was never allowed to wear something like this in the Accademy; it was all about appearences there and she didnt want anyone thinking something bad about her.

As we all walked in, I noticed that Eddie was staring at me. I frowned at him and he suddenly smiled and looked away. He was on high alert all the time, it was something I admired about him. Before coming into the room, I was stopped by Adrian. He held my hand and whispered.

"Just breath Rose. We wont stay long if you dont want to ok? Your off duty and Eddie and that other Guardian will look after Lissa. Just remeber that."

I was so happy that at least someone I knew had the insight he did. He had come up to me a couple days after Dimitri and I kissed and told me to spill the beans. The fact that he could see auras made my secret a little hard to keep. He didnt tell anyone but he was strong liped about me keeping my head on my shoulders. He didnt want to see mee get hurt and he knew how complicated for me it would be not only if we got found out, but if he hurt me.

"Thanks."

I kissed his cheek and walked into the room. The room was light dimly and there was a large long table in the middle. There was food everywhere, a feast lined the centre and there was drinks being clinked and chatter already. I sat near Lissa at the end of the table; close to Adrian.

"Thank you all for coming. I know everyone is sad to see us go, but we just wanted you all to know how much you mean to us. We wouldnt be able to do this without you all."

Tash looked beautiful. She was in tight black pants and matchingly tight white lace top. He hair was out and looked beautiful against her face. Thats when I noticed she was holding Dimitri's hand and he was looking at her. My heart broke again for the second time in two days.

"I know your wondering why we are leaving, but Dimitri and I have decided to start trying for a child and we wanted to raise our child in a more home environment, at least until the baby is old enough to walk. We will be then moving back to the Accademy."

There was applause and drinks being poured and food being eaten. I could hardly do much of anything right now. But I didnt want to look like I was moping. So I decided to go outside and catch my thoughts and maybe make a quick get away. I first noticed that I wasnt alone when the smell of cloves started towards me. Adrian.

"Hey, how long have you been out here?"

"Not long. Not long enough."

"Rose... Im so sorry."

"Why? You didnt do anything"

"I know, but your pain hurts me too."

"Adrian, dont feel sorry for me.

"Rose, thats the one thing I dont feel for you."

And with that he was gone. He knew I needed my space and he didnt push me. He didnt come on strong, he was just happy being my friend. He was the only person, who knew exactly how I felt and how much pain I had buried under my smile. And I knew it would only get worse when he left, and then worse again when they got pregnant and then more when they came back. I felt it coming, that pull in my insides that made everything seem lifeless. It was the pain I felt whenever I thought of my future, my future of being alone.

I could feel him before I could see him. I had a wierd tinggling whenever he was near. It was like my body told to wake up whenever he was close. I know that would never change, no matter the distance or the other people in our lives. I was just the way it was, like the way the sky was blue or how the grass was green. It just was and would always be.

"Roza."

"Hello Guardian Belikov."

He wasnt my comrade anymore; he wasnt my Dimitri. He was just Guardian Belikov now. Thats what he wanted. He wanted space and a family and happiness, even at the expense of my own.

"Roza please understand."

"I do. I understand completely. You want a world without me in it. You want kids crawling up your leg. You want a belly full of life. You want more than I can give you."

"I dont want you to hurt because of me."

"Too late. But I will be ok. I will live. You may have destroyed my heart, but you wont leave me without my pride. I wont beg you to stay and let you see me cry over you. I wont tell you how much I will miss you and wish you were mine. And I wont pretend that this is something you didnt want. I will be ok and so will you. I cant make you stay. I cant do anything. You chose. And you didnt choose me."

I looked into his eyes and saw our future laying in them. We would have been happy; it would have been easy. It would have been easier than breathing and it would make me feel cherished and needed. We would live out lives and it would be enough. I would be enough. But then that was only a wish; a dream to never come true. I walked closer to him, and rested my hand on his cheek. I could feel his head moving into my hand, rubbing too.

"I will always love you. But I want you to be happy. Even if that means Im not in it."

I gave him a quick kiss on this lips. I would memorise everything, the warmth of his breath, the smell of his hair, his hands on my face; everything. I would remember and lock it away and bury in under everything; under my stregnth, under my bravado, under my sadness.

As I walked away, I swear I could feel his fingers trying to touch me as I walked away. the last thing I heard was:

"Dont forget me Roza."


	3. Chapter 3

5 Years later.

*DIMITRI POV*

I was feeling exhausted. When I was at the Accademy, I trained everyday and loved to do it. But in the last 5 years, I had really been slacking off. It wasnt because things with Tasha had become unbearable, but it was because training always reminded me of her, my Roza. I didnt want to be reminded of her anymore than I had to. As I walked back to the house that Tasha and I were living in, I thought of her. I missed her more than I could put into words. I missed her smell, the way she could see through all my pretenses and bring my emotions into the light, and most of all I missed how she made me feel needed. I hadnt felt needed in such a long time.

Walking through the door I saw Tasha sitting at the dinning table with a glass of wine in her hand. She hardly ever drank, but because she was drinking now, I knew something was up.

"Whats wrong?"

She didnt even look at me. She had stopped looking at me a couple months ago after yet another month without a child. Sex was now becoming harder and harder, and we hardly even slept in the same bed anymore. When we did have sex, I felt wrong and used. We never held each other afterwards, she would go into the bathroom and expect that I would be gone by the time she got back. I couldnt believe that it had come to this. You couldnt live with someone for 5 years and not develop some sort of feelings for them. I loved her, but it didnt seem like it was enough. I remember the first time we actually talked about the fact we still hadnt become pregnant.

"Honey it will happen ok. Maybe its just the fact that we are trying to hard. Im sure that if we didnt stress over it so much that it will eventually happen."

"I know Dimka, but its been a year and still nothing. Dont get me wrong I love being with you, but we should have been pregnant ages ago."

"Tash, dont worry it will happen."

"I just feel like Im sort of failing you. Like the only reason your still here is becuase you want a child. And what happens if we dont get one. What happens if you and I just..."

"Tasha, just stop. I want to be here. And I will be here always. We will have a baby and it will be great. You will be a great mother and our children will never be unhappy because we will always be here."

"Oh Dimka. I just want your baby so much."

"I know."

She took my hand and led me to the bedroom and we made sweet love, in an attempt to make a child. But after 2 months of waiting, there was still nothing. And then after another year, I could feel us drifting apart. I could feel her begin to hate herself or me, which ever I couldnt tell who she hated more. And I tried. I tried so hard to make her happy, but it never seemed like it was enough. I took her to resturants, bought her expensive gifts and travelled with her to places she always wanted to see. There were moments when I thought she was happy, but the tinniest thing would set her off. It could be a couple holding hands and making out; it could be a pregnant woman or even a store with tiny clothes and it would change her. She was always a sweet and humbling woman, but when she didnt get what she wanted, she turned into a different person. She would lock herself in her room for days, and not come out; not for food or anybody. And when she did come out, she would say she was sorry and convince me try again.

And because I wanted to make her happy I always would. I would have sex with her whenever she wanted. I felt as though maybe it wasnt at all something to do with her, maybe it was all me. And I hated that I failed her more than anyone else. Seeing her was a constant reminder of what I couldnt do. Afterwards, she would always have the "feeling". She would walk around for a couple weeks, thinking that we had finally made a baby, and she would be happy. She would rub her belly and sing baby tunes and that just made me want to do it more than anything.

And then would come the negitive result. And she would go back to her depressed self. What made it worse is that she didnt want anyone to know. She refused to talk to anyone from the Accademy. She felt like they would be all dissapointed and she didnt want there pity. I didnt want there pity. So, she would hold all her emotions to herself and that made it worse. I tried to convince her that she needed to talk to someone, anyone. But she refused. We had missed so many christmas's and birthdays but we always kept in touch. We never told them that we were having trouble concieving but that we were enjoying travelling and building a home.

I had almost given up my entire person. I didnt feel like a Guardian anymore, and the fact that we were so isolated in these woods that we hardly ever got any attacks. I wasnt the same person and neither was she. I could tell from the way that she holding her glass and staring of into the distance, that she was thinking of something and that something would blow up into another explosive argument.

"Tasha whats wrong?"

"Do you even want a baby Dimka? We have been trying for so many years and nothing and it makes me think. Do you even want a child, do you?"

"What are you talking about? Im here. I have been trying. And of course I want a child, more than anything. Why are you talking like this?"

"You know when we first got here, we were happy. Werent we, Dimka?"

"You know we were Tash. You know I love you Tash. You know I do."

"And I love you too. But is it enough?"

"What you cant be serious. After everything I have given up to be here, you want to question me if I was enough. Do you know how much I wanted to make you happy? How everytime I heard you cry, it made me feel like I was failing you."

"Dont be silly Dimka. I know."

"What are you talking about?"

"You think I didnt see your little kiss with Rose before we left? I know Im just second best. And you know what? I tried everything, everything and you still couldnt give yourself to me completely. You always loved her."

"What has this got to do with Rose?"

"This has everything to do with her. I tried to pretend, to trick myself into thinking that you wanted me and not just what I could give you. I tried to make myself believe that you chose me but it wasnt that was it? You wanted a baby and that was it. Wasnt it Dimka?"

"Where is this coming from? Im sorry we havent been able to make a baby, but this has absolutely nothing to do with her."

"Then why the long walks? Why the constant talk of going back to the Accademy? Huh? Why?"

"This isnt all about you, thats why. I miss my friends. I changed everything about myself to be here for you. And for what? For you to sit there, high up on your horse and tell me I didnt try. I gave up everything. I gave up my title, my job, my friends, everything. And for what?"

"EXACTLY! Im not going to be the reason you gave away your life. Im not going to be the person you blame when your sitting around talking to your friends about how fucked up your life is."

"Who said anything about that?"

"Im not doing this anymore."

"Wow, after all this time thats it. You just sit here and say Im not doing this anymore. Dont you think I deserve more than that? You dont think you could have gone a little easy on me?"

"I will always love you. You know that. But I know I love you more than you love me. You miss the thrill of your old life, and even more than that you miss her. I can see it. And I hate having to look at you when all I can see is you thinking about what you left behind. I hate having nothing that you want now."

"Your all I want"

"I wish that was true and I wish you werent lying to the both of us right now. But I know you. I know you wont ever leave by yourself. You will keep trying until to run yourself into the ground. I love you enough to see that Im destroying you."

"But what about you?"

"Im going back to Court. Im going to see doctors there and see what they have to say. I want to do this alone. I dont want you there."

"Why not?"

"Beacause... I think we should just part. Its not working out. And I dont feel that same love I did before. Believe me, I do love you and your one of the most important people in my life, but I cant do this anymore. I cant handle another negative. I cant look in the mirror and see a person who cant even do the basics. I love you, but I love me more."

I walked over to her and took her in my arms. It felt like how it used to. It felt like I was holding that girl I always knew, she was the person I always loved and cared for. For the first time in a long time, it was easy. It wasnt battling every second just to survive, right now I was just holding this fragile little woman while she wept.

"Tasha Im so sorry I couldnt be what you needed."

"You wrong Dimka. Your everything to me. Im sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"Im sorry you lost all this time. You wont ever be able to get it back and thats what hurts the most. I feel like I should have said something earlier or done something more."

"We did all we could."

"I wish I was enough for you."

"And I wish I could make you happy."

We kissed briefly. But it wasnt like before, it wasnt rushed or pushed. It was a kiss between friends. It was the type of kiss you gave to your sister or your mother. When we pulled apart, I gave her a small smile and she did the same.

"So what happens now Tasha?"

"I leave for Court in an hour. I can give you a ride to the airport? Im assuming you will be going back to the Accademy?"

"Im not sure."

"Why Dimka? She will be there."

"Because I dont know if I can face her."

"Dimka, this whole time, you cant tell me you havent been waiting for this exact moment? You have the choice of making your life better or continuing on your path. Im going to make my life better. You should do the same."

She walked away and I could see her bags packed by the door. As I turned to head to the bedroom, for the first time in a long time I smiled and thought _Im coming back Roza._


	4. Chapter 4

*ROSE POV*

It had been a tough couple years, but I was finally happy. The first year was the worst and even though I thought I would die from the pain in my chest, I didnt. The first year was nothing short of horrible. I cried nearly every couple of days and hardly ever got a good night sleep. It was always the same dream; the dream of me dirty and half naked running towards Dimitri. He was smiling and everytime I was about to reach him, he would move furthur away. And always at the end I just caught a glimpse of him turning around and walking off with Tasha hand in hand. The first night I had that dream, I woke up screaming and the only way I would fall asleep, is if Adrian left his coat on top of my blanket. For some strange reason, it was like his small token of support would chase away my tortureous dreams. And for a good 6 months, Adrians coast slept with me. I couldnt bear anyone to touch me and even though Adrian had offered to spend nights with me, holding me tightly, but I had refused. The last time I had let someone close enough to hold me, he left soon after. And I couldnt imagine how shit my life would be if that were to happen with Adrian.

After the first year, I was like everyday didnt hurt as much and things with the Accademy took my mind off him. I threw myself into becoming the best Guardian that I could be and become someone that wouldnt be hurt again. I had my bad days, where I wished more than anything that he would walk around the corner and whisper kind words into my ear. Days like my Guardian Trials made me miss him. I wanted him to be here and push me forward and even more than that to be my best friend. But he wasnt there and I passed with the highest commendations from not only the headmistress but the queen herself. It was like a light went of in my head and I finally realised he wasnt ever going to be that person for me ever again and that there shouldnt be a single person in this world that was the key to your own happiness.

After becoming a Guardian, I was assigned a special task. I would become a skill trainer to novices and other Guardians when I wasnt away on missions or Guarding Lissa. I had asked to be allowed to on special occassions to hunt and kill strigoi when they would come to close to our boarders. There were many occassions when I would have to leave and that made me happy, fighting them made me feel like my life had purpose and that I was needed. But I also got that feeling when training the others. It was the hope that they would learn enough to prepair them for the unfair fight that awaited them on the outside.

I was one of the most respected Guardians now, and that title meant that I could do what I wanted, when I wanted to do it. But I never let that get in the way of my duties. I only ever had 3 sick days in the last 5 years, because even when I was ill, I wanted to be in control of what I was in charge of. My right hand man Claude Volin had joined my team 3 years ago and he now was my equal. I would ask him his opinon on task matters and trained with him daily. He was a tall mascular man with black short spikey hair and had a tan the colour of caramel. He was almost as respected as I was, and whenever I had a mission, he would insist that he come. I liked that.

But what I liked most about this whole situation was Adrian. He had kept my secret and never told a single person. But more than that he was the person I would sit with at the end of my day and talk about how I felt with. I cried to him, I told him about my wants and dreams and how I was copping. He was the first person to make me laugh truthfully since he left. And it had become just easy to be around him. Him never pushed, although he did prod his wants. He had come to me about 2 years after he left and told me how he felt. I can still remember that conversation, because it was the conversation that made me realise that maybe I could love again, someday.

"Rose?"

"Yeah Adrian."

"You know I love you right?"

"I love you too buddy."

"No I mean it. I have seen you hurt for so long now and I want to make that pain go away. I know you will never love me or anyone the way you loved him, but I want you to know that I would love you forever. I would never leave you and make you feel worthless. I would be there to catch your tears and fall when you fall. I would carry you when you couldnt walk anymore and I would laugh with you when you felt you could again. I just want you to be happy. Im not trying to push you into anything, because I dont want to push you away. I would be lost without you. Your the most wonderful person I have ever met, and even if you only see as your friend for the rest of our lives, that would be enough for me. You would be enough for me."

All I could do was stare at him. It was everything I wished someone would say to me and it looked like he meant every single word he spoke. He quit drinking so much and even cut down on the ciggerettes, and became the man I knew he would eventually become. And looking at into his eyes I could see love there and I had to admit that I loved him too. I loved him because he was the one that turned out to be there for me unconditionally. He loved me even though I was baren, even though I was a mess and even though I couldnt possibly love normally again. He just loved me. And that was enough for me. I didnt want to be with anyone right now, but I could learn to love again with him. He would be the one to bring me back, to make me believe in love again.

"Oh Adrian, please dont ever change."

Now, that I was finally at a happy place and ready to try with Adrian, I became like a 16 year old again. I convinced myself that I would tell him soon, by the end of the week. I would finally open up to him after all these years and allow us to try. I knew what he would say and do. He would wrap me in his arms and we would begin our lives together. I woke up thinking about that. This week I was taking on a second class. This class was supposed to be the new up and comers of the Accademy and I was to hone in on their individual skills and improve them.

As I got out of bed, I heard a knock on my door. I knew who it would be.

"Come on in Claude."

"Gee, your up already. Im so used to having to wake your ass up. You must be looking forward to this week."

"Hey, Im up all the time before you are and you know it."

"Yeah yeah yeah Rose, just hurry up. If you dont want to help set up, then I will just have to make you."

With a playful punch to my shoulder he left the room. I knew he would wait outside my door, just like the day before and probably tomorrow. He was a reliable as the sun. When he said he would be somewhere, he was there 10mins early. It was one of the things I liked most about him. You always knew where you stood with him. There was no guessing or trying to figure out internal dilemmas, he just came out with it. If you pissed him off you knew about it then and there and if he wanted something, he would look you in the eye and ask. Everything was simple to him; nothing was too hard or too complicated. His life was completely sorted.

About 5 mins later we walked our usual route to the gym. I was wearing my usual training bra and black skins. He wore his same black sports singlet and shorts. Walking throough the halls I heard the whispers of the other students and even some of the teachers. We were the epitome of cool, not that it mattered one bit to me. I didnt care what people thought of me. I was me and if you didnt like it, close the door on your way out.

When we reached the gym, there were 12 boys standing in little groups of 2 or 3. They were all huddled in their own little world. When we walked into the room they all moved into a single line, waiting for the class to begin. Thats when Claude said something to me that made me stop.

"Hey did you hear? Guardian Belikov came back yesturday. Apparently, he wanted to come back to the Accadmey. The headmistress has already given him a job apparently."

"What job?"

"He gonna join us. He was your instructor right?"

"Who granted this?"

"The headmistress, like I just said."

"Why didnt anyone tell me about this?"

"Whats your problem? They tell me you guys were like the best of the best. I was told that you guys set all kinds of standards. Apparently people wanted the old crew back together to teach the newbies."

"Well lets just hope he stays out of our way."

"Hey, isnt that him there."

And standing there he was. It was like nothing had changed, like the years were minutes and nothing had happened. He looked up and locked eyes with me, and a small smile came across his lips. I needed to start the class.

"Alright guys. I assume your all warmed up and ready to go?"

All in unison they replied:

"Yes Guardian Hathaway."

"Good. Today, I would like to introduce you to Guardian Volin and Guardian Belikov. They will be aiding in your training. The reason you are here this week, is to make you better. You are good now, but we want to make those little imperfections disappear."

Walking into the centre of the gym, I motioned to Claude to come with.

"Guardian Volin and I will show you a sparing session and then I want to take what you see and add at least 4 extra phases into your attack."

I smiled at Claude and knew that he wouldnt hold back just as much as I wouldnt. Then in a second he rushed me, he was just like me. He would always try to be the first to make the move. But I knew it was coming and doudged it easily. Moving to his left side, I punched him in the ribs, and then moved quickly and punched him on the other side. He regained he composure and we began again.

This time he waited, trying to pick out a good time to attack. Circling around I tried to use my own weight to bring him down after he grabbed me, but only ended with a pucnh to my right tmeple. That would bruise quickly. We started again, this time I was for the end game. Taking a few hits to my forearms, I allowed him to think he was beating me. I then moved from my blocking position and dodged him. Allowing space to turn and face his back. We were close to a wall, so at speed I ran towards the wall and using it as a push off point jumped and pushed off the wall and punched him in the face. He feel back and I landed on him with my stake from my leg holder to his heart.

"Getting old Claude. Next time you say?"

"Nice work Rose. New shit with you all the time."

I got off him and gave him my hand to help him up and he took quickly. Looking around, I could see Dimitri looking right at me. He was smiling. He looked proud, though I dont know why. I trained hard in spite of him not because of him.

"Now, all 3 Guardian will be rotating and watching your progress. One of you will be a and the other b. B will be defensive. Use your space and speed. Dont get backed into a corner or exert too much energy. A will be offensive. Use hand to hand combat but be prepared to think at least 2 phases ahead of B. You should be dictating the course of the battle. GO!"

Then they were off. I was watching them and so was Claude. He was making little suggestions and correcting errors in students forms and stances. He was a true instructor. Dimitri however made a beeline to me.

"Roza, I need to talk to you."

"Guardian Belikov, we are in the middle of a session. DO NOT interupt with useless talk."

"But I need to talk to you."

"Right now that is none of my concern."

"You will have to talk to me Roza."

"Dimitri, what you seem to forget that I dont have to do a single thing you want me to."

And with that I walked over to where Cluade was teaching and hovered, not taking a second to look back a Dimitri the entire rest of the session.


	5. Chapter 5

*ROSE POV*

I couldnt believe that he was here and that he had the audacity to come back. I couldnt see straight and before I knew it I was at Adrians door. I didnt even realise that I going towards his room, but I ended up being there. I couldnt even knock on the door. I just stood there with my head against the cold wood. It was like after all these years, I was so scared that after all these years that when I saw him again I would have all those old feelings again, that all these walls I had built up would crumple. I didnt want to feel those emotions again, the ones that sang sad songs in my head; the ones that constantly reminded me that I wasnt enough; the ones that caused my heart ache. It was like my blood went cold, like all colours in my world faded; like I was under water drowning and my paralyzing pain was the only way I knew that this wasnt all a dream. My whole world stopped when he left, but him leaving made everything come into focus, my whole life. Every little detail about who I was, what i was and who I needed to be became crystal clear. I wasnt that same tempremental girl I was before; I had changed into a person who made no mistakes, who never stopped working, who would rather die than fail. But standing here at Adrians door, it felt like all that was out the window. I felt weak again, but there would be no way that anyone would see how much I was hurting. After composing myself, I knocked on his door. When he opened the door, he looked at me closely and then made a small smile.

"Whats wrong?"

"Nothing. Why would anything be wrong? Cant I just visit my closest of friends?"

"As much as that is lovely to hear, but you know I know different little dhampire."

I couldnt keep anything from him. He was the only person who could see through my pretenses and call me up on them. I didnt had the kind of relationship with anyone, not even Lissa. I could bluff my way through my emotions with her, because I knew what to say and how to say it; it was the perks of being bonded and knowing each other for so long. But with Adrian, it was aura that betrayed my lying smiles and hiden emotions. I couldnt fake anything with him and I was happy that I could at least be honest and truthful with him, and right now I wanted to be able to say the words nobody else could hear; I wanted to talk and not pretend nothing got to me.

"Come on sit down."

I walked into his room and it had become somewhat of a home to me. The smells of cologne and coffee always made me feel comfortable. Adrian had moved from alcohol to coffee and whenever I came over he would have a pot ready or being made.

"Adrian..."

"What is it?"

"Hes here."

"Who's here?"

I just look at him. I didnt have to say anything because I reserved a sad smile for whenever the subject of him came up. It was an unspooken rule that I wouldnt speak his name and in turn neither would he. I couldnt bring myself to do it, and whenever someone else would bring him up, it sent shivers up my spine. It was the type of shivers you felt before jumping off something high; that feeling off everything in your body floating. I hated that feeling.

"So? It doesnt change anything. Your still you and he shouldnt mean anything to you anymore. Its been 5 years Rose. I think its time for you to just get over it. Im not trying to be mean to you or hurt your feelings, but you need to just let go."

"I have, I mean I think I have but I could do it when he wasnt here. At least I could have the space, but now he is working here to. What am I supposed to do?"

"Rose, look at me."

He walked over to me and pulled me away from where I was standing at the window at the fields. His hands came to my face and held me forcing me to look him in the eyes, his beautiful green eyes. It was moments like this when I knew he loved and cared for me greatly. It wasnt over the top and pressuring, it was simple and effortless.

"You just keep doing what you have been doing. You focus on you and what you want. And when you cant do that, you come right here, You run to these arms and I will be your voice of reason. I will not let him hurt you. I will never let you cry over him again."

"You really are such a sweet person at times."

"And thats the reason you love me."

I knew he was joking, but it was light a flash of realisation, that I did love him. I didnt just love him because he made the hole in my chest healed, but because for the last 5 years he has been there for me. He never turned me away, not when I was breaking glass, not when I was crying hesterically, not even when I would yell at him and tell him I hated him just to get all my emotions out. He was everything that I needed and I knew how much wanted to be with me. But I never gave him the chance.

"You should see your aura right now."

"Why?"

"Because now I cant finally do this."

I didnt have time to react or pull away. His lips touched mine and it felt like the earth was spinning. It was like my icy lips were being defrosted by his heat. I hadnt felt like this in such a long time. He moved his hand down my arms and pulled me close. With his hands on my waist, he kissed me more fiercely. I swear there were fireworks and my heart wouldnt slow down.

"Rose, I want to be the one who chases your darkness away. I know its hard for you and it doesnt make things easier with him being here, but I want you to know Im here. Im not going anywhere and I swear to you, where ever you go I will follow you."

"Adrian, please."

"I know. It may not be the perfect timing and you may not be ready. But please, one day just give me a chance."

"No."

"No?"

"No, thats not what I was saying."

I stepped closer, and pulled him back to me. I looked into his eyes, and I felt like for the first time that maybe things might be ok. That what he had just said made sense more than any other time. It was like all that love I had in me finally gave way.

"Dont stop, Adrian. Make me forget."

I didnt have to ask him twice. He picked me up and carried me over to the bed. I didnt realise how strong he was, and being in his arms made me feel cherished. I never wanted to be away from him. I was so happy, but those nagging thoughts still whispered in my mind. I wouldnt be able to continue if he left me too. I needed to tell him that. As we lay down on his large bed, I pulled away.

"Please. If this is.. If Im just another notch in your bedpost, please stop now and let me go. I dont think I would survive it again. I cant loose you too."

"Little Dhampire, let me tell you what you mean to me so that you might finally understand."

He sat up, crossed his legs and looked down at his hands, as if to collect and arrange his thoughts. There was a little frown line in between his eyebrows and when he was finished thinking he looked up at me.

"I think about you more than I think about myself. I have never been a man to pray, but every night I find myself praying that you will be ok and find the happiness you deserve. When you hold me in your enbrace, your heartbeat is music to my ears. Your the begining and the end for me, and if you choose me, I would cherish you like you deserve. I would support you in your goals, and when you left to fight the enemy, I would wait on that hill untill you came back. I would hope for your safety, though I know you can protect yourself. You are the most beautiful person I have ever met, but it isnt that eclipses me everytime I see you. Its your stregnth, your hope for the future and your willingness to trust me even though you have no reason to. And when we are old enough to look back at this moment, it will be then that you realise my life started right now, with you."

I couldnt stop the tear that feel from my eyes. It was nothing and everything for me, the sunrise and sunset and coming of the seasons all wrapped into one. This was the moment that I knew love would make it back.

I went to bed thinking about what had happened between Adrian and I. We talked about everything. We talked about our future, the present and how we would always be honest with each other. We didnt want the past to taint our future and we both wanted to be able to tell each other how we were feeling and most of all we wanted the truth to always be out and in the open. He told me that he didnt care about what anyone thought about me or us, because it was his choice and he choose me. Adrian explained to me that he knew he couldnt stop me from doing my missions and the danger in my life, but told me that where he was would always be home and that no matter what happened he would wait for me. I loved that he wasnt scared to say how he felt, and after all these years, I had finally agreed to be with him. I woke up with a smile and for the first time in years, I didnt think about the past. I only thought about my future and how bright it looked now. I didnt even think about him, nearly. I had been in the gym for 20 minutes after my long run when I heard the gym door open. I didnt have to look to know who it was.

"Hello Roza."

Turning around, he stood there. Looking at him now, I could see that he was too much of heaven for me, and that still stung.

"Hello Guradian Belikov."

"Roza. Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I didnt want to talk to him, because I didnt want him to spoil my mood. That and I didnt want to hear his excuses or the reasons he had returned. For me this wasnt a happy reunion; it wasnt a reunion for me at all. For me it was a blow back to the past when I was just ready to move forward. It was like life was just trying to stick it to me. Maybe it was some sort of global karma for me but whatever it was, it was turning my life into some sort of daytime drama.

"I dont have much time. I have a class this morning and then a meeting with Claude. So if you could, make it quick."

"Look, I didnt come here to make things awkward for you. I just came back for you."

"What?"

"I came back for you."

"This is hardly an appropriate converstation to have with your superior."

"Roza, please. Just give me a chance to explain."

"Im going to say this once and once only. Im not the same person you knew 5years ago. Im stronger, faster and smarter. So much more smarter than you thought I was before. I wont sit here and let you tell me you love me and make myself believe it. You left and that was your doing. I am happy, finally Im happy after so long. So please do not make it harder for me than it already is."

"Its hard to be around me?"

"So hard."

I whispered and let a crack form in my armour. I didnt want him to know how much he hurt me or how much it still hurt to this day, but him being here has made it easier for the thoughts of him weed its way in.

"Roza, I know you hurt and I know I am the reason. And you deserve an explination more than anyone. I was just thinking..."

"No. I dont want to know. I have all I need and for the first time in years it feels like peace. I dont need to know what happened or why your back here. All I want from you is to do your job. I cant have you on my team, if I have to worry about you acting foolishly."

He was looking at the ground, and this gave me a chance to look at him. He was still the same man who stole my heart so long ago. I dreamed about his face, his hands and his lips many nights and now that he was standing right in front of me, I could see that my dreams hadnt done it justice. He looked beautiful, but he always would and even though I was with Adrian, I would always love looking at him. No matter how much I didnt want him to be around, I loved him at one point in my life and I couldnt undo what history had already done. He would always be the man who made me a woman, he would always be the first love and heartbreak and he would always be the man who tought me that life will never be easy.

"Is there someone else?"

"I dont think that is any of your business. You have no right to ask me questions like that, not now; not ever."

"Who is he?"

I wasnt going to say anything, but with the way he was looking I could only tell him what he wanted to know. I knew it was a lapse in my hard armour but I did it and it felt good to tell him that I was with Adrian, becuase in all honesty I was happy that I was with him.

"Its Adrian."

He was looking at me like I had told him that he would never see the sun again, like I had taken his sense of touch, like I had stolen something from him though I really wasnt sure what it was. He didnt say anything. He just nodded, gave me a small smile and walked to the punching and began training. We continued the rest of the session without a word more.


	6. Chapter 6

^Hey everyone, Just a quick note to all the readers who have been following this story. I would love to hear back from you guys more. I know reviews takes up your time, but I would love to know what everyone thinks. I just wanted to do this story for me, and I couldnt care less about peoples negative comments. I did this story about Rose as a stronger person, and how love doesnt always work out for everyone. But in the end we end up with who we are supposed to be with. This story will be a long one, so I hope you guys are strapped in for the ride. There will be alot of twists and even though most of you want a certain ending, I dont want you to get hopes up. Just read it and find out.

P.S

I wanted to make this more of a tear jerker. So mushy lines and love triangles are expected.

MUCH LOVE FROM ME TO YOU  
:)^

*DIMITRI POV*

Its been a couple of months since I returned to the Accademy and to say that I was welcomed back with open arms would be a huge lie. The first couple of days were the hardest. When I first saw Rose she was talking to some guy, who I would later find out was her second in command. Even though I had been away for so long, she was exactly like she was when I left. When I first saw her, I noticed the slight changes more than anything. She didnt move around as much; her confidence in her stance was more that of a elder Guardian than someone who had only been doing if for a mere 5 years. She had put on more muscle in her arms, but it wasnt over the top and bulging or anything like that. It just made her more fierce and unstoppable. Her hair was longer and on her neck there were double the marks she had when I had left. But most of all, I noticed how absolutely isolated she looked. I remembered her with that cheeky fun loving grin, that you couldnt take off her face no matter what was happening. That beautiful feature was replaced by a smile smile that didnt reach her eyes. It was like she was faking her way through everything, like she wasnt letting anyone make her smile or she wasnt allowing people to see her as anything other than the masterful Guardian she was now. But she was so beautiful, it hurt to look at her, but I couldnt bear to take my eyes off her. That feeling of longing grew deep in my belly, it was the type of feeling you got when you see the woman of your dreams come to life. I wanted so badly to go up to her and hold her in my arms, and take her back to the cabin. I just wanted a chance to take her there and show just how much I missed her and how I craved her.

When she spoke to the class on the first day I was back, she commanded the room and I could see that all the novices in the room respected her and valued every word that came out of her mouth. They were listening to her, and taking everything in. The novices were looking at her like their idol or maybe in the same respect as flock following its shepard. But I had never been more proud. She had come into her own and she didnt need me anymore. But I was more impressed by the way she fought Guardian Volin. It was glorious to watch, she wasnt all blasting in with guns anymore. She was more tactical, more logical. It was the Roza I always knew she would be, but she was better. She had taken what I had tought her and improved on it and even brought her own spice to the mix.

There was this one time during the fight where she used a wall as a weapon. She ran towards it, ran up it, pushed off it and kicked Guardian Volin on his back. She fell on top of him smiling. It was easy for her, because she was confident in her abilities now and didnt need to prove it to anyone. She had already done all of that and now she was a preditor; dangerous and breathtaking at the same time. I didnt like that his hands were on her hips as she spoke to him, but it was probably just a friendly gesture. When I tried to approach her she of course didnt want to talk or even look at me properly. I was prepared for her to scream and hurl punches at me, but I never thought she would cut me out completely. I thought that even after all this time, that if I was still thinking about her thre would be a huge chance that she would be doing the same. But when I looked at her, she had walls built up. I didnt think that she would have been so hurt because when I left she let me go. She didnt fight for us. And maybe she was shocked, because I was telling her that I was leaving that day or that she didnt care.

I had tried and tried to find reasons to talk to her, but they always ended up with her not being there or just ignoring me. I even went to Adrian to try and get her to just talk to me or at least just listen but the conversation with Lissa was worse than I ever thought it could be. I still remember how she looked at me when I approached her.

"Hey Adrian."

"Yes, Belikov."

"I was wondering if you knew where Rose was?"

"And what does it matter to you anyways? Shouldnt there be some sort of baby convention you should be at, seeing as that is all you care about."

"Adrian, look I just want to explain things. Im sure she has told you what was going on between us and filled you in on why I left. But when I left, I wasnt thinking. I thought that if I left and had a child that I would be happy, but I was miserable the entire time I was away from Rose."

"Miserable? You were miserable? Well heres something you fail to realise. Rose was a mess when you left. She cried for months, and what was worse is that she couldnt even tell anyone why she was upset. For months, she would cry herself to sleep, only to pick herself up the next day to plaster a smile on her face and continue on as if nothing had happened. Do you know how bad it got for her? Do you know how many times I had to cover for her? How many times I had to tell her friends that she was just missing her family and that she was just worried about her trials?"

"Look, I know you care for her but I think I should just talk to her about it. This has nothing to do with you"

"Fuck off it doesnt. I was there holding her when she couldnt bear to be alone. It was me that watched her as she feel asleep for exhaustion from crying her eyes out. It was me who made her laugh. It was me who gained her trust enough for her to tell me how much you crushed her spirit. And you nearly did. You nearly ruined her."

"Hey! I care about her too. She is just as important to me as she is to you."

"Yeah well you have a funny fucken way of showing it. She is a strong and beautiful woman and she did it all by herself."

"Hey, I was there in the beginning to."

"If you think for one second that she is the best becuase of you or that she has evolved into such a brave and feriocious Guardian because of something you did, your deluisional. She became what she is today in spite of you. She didnt want you to be the end of her and more than that she knew that you had moved on with her life and there was no reason not to do what she was meant to."

"You wouldnt understand. Your all about yourself, and what you can get out of things. I wouldnt be suprised if your being so nice to Rose just to get what you want out of her. But I love her."

"DONT TELL WHAT I FEEL! YOU WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO FOR HER!"

And with that he walked off towards his room. Fuck him. He wouldnt understand what Roza and I had. And although I had hurt her, I knew that she would come back. She always did and even if it took eternity I would work to get her back. It wasnt till after that I had found out that her and Adrian were an item. I can still remember the pain in my chest, because its been there for more than 6 weeks. I thought that maybe with time I would get over it and just accept it, but I just couldnt. I couldnt imagine him with her, and even worse I hated the thought of him holding her while they were making love.

I hated walking this halls and for some reason I would always catch little glimpses of her with him, it was always the same thing and everytime it was like a knife in my heart. I remember a piticular night. I was tired but I couldnt sleep and because I had just finished a training session with Roza, I was left thinking about her. All I could think about was her smell and her hair, it was the little things like being not being able to play with her flowing curls that made me ponder leaving. But I would never be able to leave again. I just couldnt and I always convinced myself that I wouldnt choose the easy way out and that eventually, she would come back to me and we would be happy again like we were. And just like that, there they were.

I was turning the corner, and saw her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on her hips. The hallway was empty and I had choosen this way because there wouldnt be anyone around. Apparently they had the same idea. I was about to walk away when I heard their conversation.

"Adrian, please. It will happen when it happens. Believe me I want to, but the last time I did, he ran for the hills."

"I just want you so bad Little Dhampire. And the fact that your wearing these little clothes arent helping."

I know what he meant. At training she was just wearing short shorts and a training bra. Her subtle abs and chest, distracted me most of the session and I knew that she could tell that I couldnt keep my greedy little eyes off her. In fact I caught Guardian Volin catching a peep. He looked up at me with a smile. He was the only one who didnt give me grief, but he didnt want to be my friend either. I never felt more alone than right now.

"Adrian. What if Im bad it?"

"What are you talking about?"

"What if he left because I was bad in bed? I mean he didnt stick around after it and maybe the fact that I couldnt give him a kid coupled with the fact I was shit in bed, just pushed him over the edge."

"Rose, believe me. With the way Im feeling right now, I doubt you would be anything but a fantasy come true."

He came closer pulling her into a embrace, when I saw that he was nibbling on her neck, not biting but the type of nibbling that made actions begin. She pushed her up on the wall, and his hand moved over her breasts and she was smiling. It was one of the first times that I had seen her genuinly smile. And it wasnt because of me. And that crushed me. I couldnt watch anymore and ended up walking back to the gym.

There was a knock at my door in the early and it made me jump up. The last couple of months I was back to 100% and that made me feel a little bit better about my time at the Accademy. I still dreamed of her and was haunted by her presence when I was awake. I walked over to the door to see someone I didnt expect at my door.

"Roza? What are you doing here?"

"Can I have a moment of your time Guardian Belikov?"

"Um sure come in."

I motioned for her to come into the room and quickly slipped a shirt on. She sat on a chair near the window. I went to sit by her, but thought better of it. So I took a chair at the far end of the room.

"What is it Roza?"

"I need to talk to you about something personal and I wouldnt talk to you about it if there was any other way."

"You dont have to talk to me like you dont know me Roza. You know you can talk to me about anything. I have missed being able to talk to you about anything. I miss just being your friend."

"I miss that too."

That was a huge admission from her and I knew that it would have taken her alot to let me hear what she had said. I took it as sign that maybe she was turning around and maybe that one day I wouldnt be her enemy anymore. She looked at me for the first time in the eyes without hate.

"You know I loved you and even though I wish I didnt I still love you."

"You wish you didnt love me?"

"No, I just wish it would be easier for me to move on and than I realised something this morning. Im not moving on because I havent fully forgiven you or even given you a chance to talk to me. And Im sorry for that."

"Roza. You have nothing to say sorry about."

"Dimitri, I missed you more than anything. I mourned you. It felt like you died and that I was never gonna come back the same. But I knew you would, and you would come back with a baby, and I wanted to be happy for you. But I realised that I wasnt happy for you. And for me to be truely happy, I need to forgive you."

I couldnt believe what she was saying. I never thought for one second that when I answered the door that this conversation would be happening.

"Roza, I will always love you. And I cant stop it. I wont ever stop and maybe that my punishment for hurting you all these years. I miss you everyday and I wish I could be with you, but more than that I miss my friend and lover. I miss your kiss, I miss your touch and the way you would look at me with wonder in your eyes."

"Dimitri just stop..."

"No I need you to hear this."

I moved to sit at her feet with her hands in my hands.

"Roza, I was so foolish. I will never understand why I chose to run away from you, but I did. And now I will never get you back and that hurts more than anything. I dont think you understand how much of myself I left here with you. I left my heart and my spirit with you but I was too blinded to see. I hate that he has you. I hate that he can hold you and touch you the way that I used to. Im so lost without you and I have been in darkness ever since I got back. There will never be another for me, it will only be you. Your all I can think about and even when I try not to, I cant help myself. My heart belongs to you and he will never love you the way I do. I see your truths in my lies and the false tales I tell myself everyday just to get by. I see you in my dreams and my soul aches for you. I will be here everyday, every night as what ever you need me to be. I want to be anything to you."

"I cant hate you anymore. I cant sit here and pretend you didnt destroy me but Im thankful for it. Adrian is a good person Dimitri and he has never hurt me or made me feel less. He adores me, and I..."

"You what Roza?"

"I love him. I will never be the way I loved you but I love him none the less. And I dont want you to go because of it. I dont want to loose you again, but if you cant be here for me than I understand."

"Your irreplaceable to me Roza. I will never leave your side again. I will be here for you as a friends for as long as you need. Your not the type of woman to remain waiting for the guy whose to shy and stupid to say he will give his heart to you forever. I just want you happy. "

"Im glad we spoke Comrade. I've missed you."

And with that she was leaving. But before she left, she turned at me and held my hand. I felt the electricity just the same. I could see tears in her eyes and I couldnt help but wipe them away. She then did something that I thought she never would do, she reached up and planted a soft and swift kiss on my lips. It wasnt the type of kiss that gave me hope, it was the type of kiss that ended things. And within seconds she was gone, leaving me standing there with my own tears.


	7. Chapter 7

*ROSE POV*

As I walked away, I could feel like my past wouldnt dictate who I was felt like I was moving on and it wouldnt hurt as much. I loved Dimitri, I probably always would, but the last couple of years had been horrible for me and even more than that the last couple of months with him being here hasnt been easy for me either. It was like everytime I saw him, all I saw was how much I failed. I had failed to be enough, failed to be the reason he breathed; failed to capture his heart. I could feel the tears building, but this time it was different. It wasnt the type of tears you had when you lost your first pet or when you discover that your parents are actually Santa, it was the type of tears you had at weddings, or the birth of a child. These tears were welcomed; these didnt leave distruction in their wake, it left a feeling of promise. Leaving Dimitri wouldnt be the one choice that defined me, it would be all the actions that followed after. I would see him everyday, and everyday I know how he would feel. He would feel how I did everyday for the past 5 years. He would hate the night, because thats when the dreams came. But he would hate the day even more because all pressures of keeping face would be there and more than that, everyones eyes would judge. I would give anything to take that away from him; for him to just one day wake up and not feel the way he did, for his future I wish that it would be easier for him. And as much as I wanted to go back to the past, I couldnt. I couldnt that girl anymore or go back to how I felt then.

And much more than that I was happy with Adrian. It had only been a couple months but it felt like something finally good was happening to me. and Adrian was the reason for that. I wish that I could say that I was a strong and content person by myself, but the truth of the matter was that I really wasnt and I hadnt been for a long time. When Dimitri left, I thought he had taken any chance of happiness with him and that the rest of my life would be a constant reminder of how devastatingly bitter and loveless I had become. Adrian had filled the void and was allowing me to believe in a future. And a future was something that Adrian had wanted with me. Even though there was more and more Strigoi attacks and more and more times where we didnt have a chance linger a little longer, we were happy. I was happy. I can still remember the conversation I had with Adrian before I saw Dimitri.

"Adrian, are you in here?"

"Yeah just come inside. You know you dont have to knock."

As I walked in all I could smell was roses. I always hated how people thought I would like them simply because of my name, but this was different. I walked into his spacious room and in the centre was a single round table. The room was dimly lit, and there he stood. He was a dressed in black. He had a huge smile on his face.

"You should see your aura right now."

"Why what does it say that I wont?"

I loved that he could tell how I felt. At first I thought it was such a imposition, but now I really took comfort in the fact that he always knew how I felt. I couldnt lie to him and when he tried to keep things from me, I could read him like a book. It made our relationship stronger because he would call me up on things no one else would know about. He saw what no one else could and because no one would ever know me the way he did, it made us feel better about each other.

"It take alot to surprise you little Dhampire. And there you are, all suprised."

"Adrian whats all this?"

He walked over to me and led me to the table. He placed his hands on my face and kissed me tenderly. Thats when I felt his tears. He was holding me so tightly. It was a hug that engulfed your entire being, that made you feel like there was no one in world apart from us.

"Adrian why are you crying?"

"Because so Im happy."

Looking into his big green eyes, I saw his tears running freely. He wasnt hiding them from me; he didnt care about showing his feelings and what that would mean for me. He was free to be himself and so was I. We didnt have to keep things from each other, and it was near impossible to hid anything from him and I was happy that someone would know everything about me.

"Rose, look at the table."

As I looked at the table I could see a small rounded box. It was the type of box girls cried over, the type that finished and ended relationships. It was the type of box that could change everything. As I reached to pick it up, I could feel the shivers running up by spine and as I looked down I could see my hands were shaking. Opening the box, I began to cry. Inside there was a beautiful ring. It had 3 beautiful rounded diamonds, on a gold band. It was simple and beautiful, it was something that I loved.

"Adrian whats this?"

As I tuned to look back at him, I could see that he was down on one knee. He had wetness on his cheeks when he began to speak.

"Little Dhampire, I love you. I have always loved you and I will continue to love you my whole life. I need you more than I need anything else and I will need you for the rest of my life. And if you agree to be mine I will always be there for you. I will always love and cherish you. I will be your light when the darkness threatens your own. I will carry you when you can no longer walk, your eyes when you can no longer see and when your dreams haunt you at night, I will chase them away. Please let me be the one you run to, let me the man who has your heart. Please Rose, be mine."

I could see that everything he was saying was the truth and in all truth it was everything a girl would want to hear. It was all that I had wanted to hear and nothing else would ever mean anything to me more than he did. And I doubt that anything would ever mean anything to me more than him again. He was my life and now he would forver be mine. I sunk to my knees and took him in my arms.

"Adrian..."

He smiled. I could tell that he already knew the answer.

"Little Dhampire. I need to hear the words. I cant just take it on what Iam seeing right now."

"Yes."

Thinking about Adrians proposal, I was so excited and terrified at the same time. It had only been a couple of days since I had agreed and I was a range of emotions. I was so exhilerated but scared at the same time. I knew he would never leave, but history made me worried. I wouldnt be able to live if he left. I would be back to where I was before and it took soo much before him, that I dont think that I could ever try again. But, even with those thoughts, I found myself smiling; smiling for absolutely no reason and all the reasons in the world at the same time.

Arriving at the gym, I saw that there was a huddle of about 7 Guardians. I didnt know that there was some sort of meeting, so the fact that there was one took me by suprise.

"Guarding Volin. Whats going on here?"

"Rose, we have been looking for you for the past 40 minutes. Where were you?"

"I having a conversation with Guardian Belikov. Why whats happened?"

"There was another attack. This time about 10 minutes out from the Accademy.

As I looked at Claude, I could see his concern. We had been on may missons, but most of them were in Europe and not this close to home. We had made a point to not let them come anywhere near here or the court. Claude and I had flown to many distant countries and many far away places, but even though there was a chance that I wouldnt return, I was content that the battle was far away from court and Lissa. But an attack this close meant that they had snuck past our defenses and that bothered me more than anything. I didnt like that I had missed this. I hadnt noticed what was happening and even more, I was so busy being caught up in my love life to be a proper Guardian.

"What happened?"

"It was a couple hours before sunrise, when they attacked. It wasnt frantic and unorganised like most of there attacks. Those attacks were usually the result of hunger, but this was different. They didnt attack the royals that were out on a shopping trip. They attacked the Guardians."

"Who was it?"

"Gurdians Sullivan and Michels were taken. The royals were ok and returned to the saftey of the confines but it appears that they were seeking out the Guardians rather than the royals."

"They were targeting the Guardians?"

This was new. And for the first time in a long time I was scared. This wasnt something that they usually did and it wasnt the way that they went about there attacks. Something had changed, and just like that my whole happy days were gone.

*DIMITRI POV*

Roza had left my room and taken my heart with her. She had told me everything that I didnt want to hear. She was moving on and worse it was with Adrian. I never really liked him. He seemed like the type of person who would do nothing but fail and then blame his own failures on others. What Roza saw in him I would never comprehend or understand. But that was what Roza did. She saw the best in people and made others shine. I needed to walk or run or get away, but I didnt want Roza to think that I was following her. I thought that she would be going to Adrian so I headed the long way to the gym.

As I stepped out into the cool air, I couldnt help but breath in deep. It was true that Roza was with Adrian, but it wouldnt last; it couldnt. She was meant for me and I was meant for her. There could never be another person for me, and Adrian was just someone Roza needed right now. She needed someone to help her heal her heart, and as much as I wished it was me, I knew that it couldnt be. I couldnt help her and keep reminding her of the mistakes I had made. As I walked into the gym, I saw Guardian Volin, Dean and a couple other Guardians. They were all talking in quick tones. Walking closer in, I saw and heard Roza.

"Look something is up. This feels different than before. Usually they would go after royals, but the fact that they are going after Guardians makes me beileve that are trying to get to the royals through us."

This conversation was strange. It sounded like a tactical assembly, but the fact that iw was in the gym threw me off. I needed information.

"Roza? Whats going on?"

She looked at me, and I could see the panic in her eyes. I knew her well enough to see what she was hiding from the others. She was playing it cool, but I could tell different.

"There was an attack in the last hour. There was a party of 4 royals being accompanied by their 4 Guardians. They were attacked but, only 2 o the Guardians were taken. They werent killed... but taken."

Wow, this was different. In a moment of eye contact, she sent me signals to talk in private. As we left the group to huddle in the corner and talk.

"Dimitri, this is different."

"Roza tell me what your thinking."

"The last couple of years there have been attacks on royals and on court, but there was never a time when a royal was taken. But some Guardians were taken or killed and we all thought that it was just the price of safety..."

She was peiceing the puzzle togther as she spoke, but I didnt understand what she conclusion she was coming to.

"Thinking about it now, there have been over 30 Guardians taken in the last 5years."

"Yes..."

"Dimitri, what if there building there own army, using our own Guardians?"

It all made sense why she was in such a panic. It was one thing to have attacks with inexperienced stigoi but to have turned Guardians, with the knowledge about the tactics and royal placement, planning and attacking, meant that we were all in danger. Looking at Roza, I could see the wheels turning. I could tell that she wanted to run out right now and kill as many as she could. But I needed to protect her even if Adrian was supposed to be her protector.

"Roza, Im coming with you. Your not going alone, not without me. Lets start planning."

"Dimitri, I dont know. If I spear head a team into an attack, and we get taken, we could be just giving them what they want. What should I do?"

It was like the conversation we just walked away from, cleared up everything. She was asking for my opinion and I was now able to help her without her thinking that I was coming on to her. It was probably because she was more worried about what was happening to worry about us, but it was something.

"I think we shouldnt run into this without thinking it through. There isnt enough Guardians as it is, and we dont want to hinder our numbers anymore."

"I think we should hold a larger meeting with the headmistress and all the other Guardians. I will have to speed up the classes alot faster than I wanted. Also..."

"What?"

"I was thinking about using some of the royals. Christian is a great fire user and even Mia has progressed in her use of water. If there is any chance that they could help... I cant believe Im saying this."

"We have to make sure that whatever happens, that they are safe. No matter what. We will have to set up protocol and maybe even a mew guarding technique."

"Not only that, we will have to monitor the wards more closely. I dont want anyone getting through. I know Gurdian Sullivan was a great tracker and more than that, he spearheaded some of our missions in Rome. He knows alot. Lets just hope that he doesnt give it up and makes it back."

"Roza, come on. Lets go talk to the others. We need to get things rolling."

Just as I am about to walk over to the others, she grabs my arm.

"Listen, Dimitri. I dont want things to be wierd between us. I just want to be able to be friends with you. And with all this shit going down, Im going to need you. I want you to be able to leave me behind if it comes down to it. I know what I am doing, and if things get bad, I dont want you running off into danger. I know you can look after yourself, and I can do that just as well, but if something happened to you, and you got turned..."

"Roza, I feel the same way ok. If something happened to you, and you were taken, I would make it back safely and after... I would come for you."

"I dont want to become one of them."

"Neither do I."

"So if something happens to either one of us..."

"You dont need to say it Roza. I know."

And with that we walked off to the others in the group. Claude was already talking.

"We need to send out a scout, maybe a group of one or two. There must be some Stigori based just outside the wards. I dont want anyone going who isnt needed here. We have to find out where they are based and how they are getting pass all our security."

"Thats right. But even before that, we need to get the other Guardians together and figure out what the headmistress and the queen wants to be done. We cant do anything without there approval first."

We all spilt up and I decided to go back towards my room and see if Eddie was around. Just as I was about to reach my hall when I bumped into Adrian.

"Adrian?"

"Dimtiri."

"What are you doing?"

"Well I was looking for Rose. I thought she might still be with you. There are a bunch of people looking for her."

"Yeah she already knows about the attack. She is on her way to call the queen."

"Yeah? Ok cool."

He was walking off and I felt the need to clear things up. Even though I hated him, and even though he was taking away my only reason to live, I needed to make things better.

"Adrian?"

"What Dimitri?"

"I just wanted to thank you."

"Thank me for what exactly?"

"For looking after Roza... while I was away."

"While you were away? So you thought that you would always come back?"

"Well I didnt know, but my heart always knew I would come back."

"Yeah, well your heart can go fuck itself."

"Look I know you love her, but she loves me too. I know that you were there for her when I couldnt be and I will always be thankful for that, but I know she will end up coming back to me. I love her more than anything in this world and eventually, when her heart is healed again, she will come back..."

"You just think that she would wait around for you, dont you? You seriously think that I cant make her happy?"

"Adrian, we are meant for each other."

"You know its been 5 years. And since you have been back for what... 4, 5 months now, and still nothing. Have you ever thought that she is happy with me? And that maybe she doesnt want you anymore?"

"Yes I have thought about that. And thats why I havent pushed her. I want her to be happy, but I know she will eventually come back to me. She always does and when she does I wont ever let her go again."

"This is some big game to you isnt it? You think that you can just toy with her heart and think that she wont try and find happiness somewhere else? She is not a game, you fuck. And you may have her fooled, but you dont have me fooled. I can see right through you. You left, thinking that the grass was greener on the other side and when you found out it wasnt, you thought you could just walk back in here and everything would be forgotten. Well you cant. I love her and she will never have to be alone again. I will give her the wedding she wants, the life and love she wants, I will never leave her and I couldnt care what people like you or any one else thinks. She is perfect to me, in everyway. But you threw her away. And yet she stands here, forgiving you and wanting to be your friend when all you did was hurt her. If it was up to me, with the type of power she has, I would have thrown you out on your ass ages ago. Your just lucky your fututre is in her hands and not mine!"

"Wedding? What are you talking about Adrian?"

"Yes. She has agreed to be my wife, to be mine forsaking all others. And that includes you."

"When?"

"We have been engaged for a little bit now."

"A little while? I dont believe you."

"You dont have to. Just look at the ring on her finger."

And with that he walked away. And for 100th time since I returned, I felt like my world and heart was breaking. It wouldnt be long before the tears came again.


	8. Chapter 8

*ADRIAN POV*

It had been a couple weeks since Rose had said yes to me and I could feel my soul become more and more complete as time passed. I honestly didnt think that she would say yes right away. I thought it would take weeks of persuading for her to give me a hint at an answer. But it wasnt like that at all. When I asked her to be mine, her aura became a bright and shining gold with red specks flickering through it, and I knew that she would say yes right then and there. Her aura was always beautiful and warm, but when I asked her it became like I was looking into the sun. It made me feel so alive. It felt like the very first time I layed eyes on her all over again. I still felt those butterflies in my belly and that lust for her more than ever. But as I began to know who she was and what she was all about, it became more than that. I wanted more than anything to be a better person for her, and suprisingly myself. I felt like for the first time in my life, I would have a purpose and a reason to be alive. And true to Rose form, she had coursed me to be more like her just by being herself.

When she started to see Dimitri, I couldnt stand it. I wanted to make her feel special and loved, but whenever I saw her and how her aura would shine I let it go. I would love her from afar forever, if it meant that she would be happy. But I couldnt help my selfish ways, and I couldnt not be in her life. So being a close friend to her seemed like the closest I would ever get to her. And it was enough for me. I didnt care that I wasnt the one that was holding her at night, and stealing midnight kisses from her as long as she got treated the way she should be. It would be hard for me to keep my flirtatious attitude hidden from her, but she didnt make me feel like a pervert. Instead she would joke along with me and allowed me to be myself around her. I knew she had an inclination about me and we even had a conversation about it. Thinking about it now, I can see why I will always love her.

"Adrian, you know what people will think if they keep hearing you talk about how sexy you think I am."

"Little Dhampire, have I ever been one to care about what othere people think? They can say what they want, your still a goddess to me."

"Yeah sure sure."

"Rose, are you seeing someone?"

"No"

"Your terrible at lying."

"You cant possibly know that I was lying, if in fact thats what I was just doing then."

"Oh how little you think of me Rose. I know that when you lie you cant help but touch your face. That and your aura is telling me your fibbing right now."

"I thought you only knew a little about auras."

"Yeah well Lissa and I have been practicing alot of stuff. I have been studying alot of peoples emotions and I think I have a firm grasp on what coulour means what. So again, are you with someone?"

"Yes. But seriously Adrian, you cant tell anyone. Not even Lissa."

"He must be some royal if your this secretive about it. And here I thought you had a thing against us royals."

"He is not a royal."

"Well who is he then?"

"Its Dimitri."

"Like the same person who walks around with the western version of a matrix jacket?"

"Yeah one and the same."

"How? I mean, people would notice if you guys started walking around hand in hand."

"Well we havent done anything, if thats what your getting at. But we have kissed a couple times, and even got a little grabbing in there too but nothing more than that. We both are scared as to what would happen to us if someone found out. So thats why you cant say anything about any of this, to anyone. Please Adrian, I trust you."

"Do you love him?"

"I think I could. I mean I cant think straight when Im around him and he makes me so angry and at the same time he is just like me so I cant get upset with him. It like looking into a mirror sometimes."

"Oh."

Thats all I could think of saying. I wish I had some sort of smart ass retort, but I didnt. I always thought that we would at least make out. And now there would never be a chance of that since she was with him.

"Adrian. You know I love you. Its just doesnt feel right, right now. I mean who knows where this whole thing with Dimitri will go. He may get sick of me and kick me to the curb and then who will I run to? I will always want you in my life, no matter what happens. You will always be apart of me. And who else can say that? Your already so special to me and I just dont want to ruin it."

"Little Dhampire, only you could word a rejection as if it was a possibility of something more."

She held me close and I couldnt help but smell her and wish.

"And if he breaks my heart, you can be there to eat icecream and chocolate with me."

"No. If he breaks your heart, I will break his neck."

As I walked to Roses room, I could her pacing around. I had been worried about her the last couple of weeks. She had been stressed out about the news of Guardians being attacked and taken, and was in charge of figuring out how to deal with all the problems that came with that. She was staying out longer and training harder. She had packed on a bit more muscle, but nothing over the top. When we saw each other, she would hold me tighter and kiss me with more fireceness. I liked it, but I knew she was worried. And that made me worry, because nothing ever got to Rose, and it was these little changes in her actions that made me think something big was coming.

"Rose?"

As I knocked in her room, I heard her tell me to come in. She was wearing her little black sports paints and a white blouse. Her hair was free and waving; and she was playing with her ring. She hadnt looked more beautiful than when she was playing with that ring. She wore it with pride and it made my heart jump. It was all our friends could talk about and it made me think about that night that we decided to tell everyone.

"Hey everyone. As you guys know, Adrian and I have been going out for a couple months now. And we wanted to for you guys to be the first to know."

"OMG dont tell me your pregnant Rose."

"No Lissa, Rose isnt pregnant. She has just agreed to be my wife and live her life with me by her side. We wanted everyone that is here to be the first to know, because you all mean so much to us. I asked her because I know I will not want or need anyone else apart from her. And we want to live in the now, and not dwell on the past."

"Yeah, well Adrian has made me the happiest person in the world, and I couldnt imagine being with anyone else. He has always been there for me and I hope all you guys will support my decision and love us."

There was a commotion after that as Lissa ran up to Rose and held her close whispering little secrets into her ears. I was greeted by handshakes and pats on the back by Eddie and Mia. Dimitri even shook my hand, although he didnt look me in the eyes. I could see Christian smiling and hugging Rose, as she started to tear up at his break from his usual cool persona. But looking at her now, I could tell something was up. And her aura was telling me that she was battling on whether to tell me or just try and lie.

"Adrian, I need to talk to you."

"Of course baby. What is it?"

"There is something I need to tell you."

"Rose, you just said that. Cmon, just talk to me. What has you acting so strangely?"

"Adrian, there is a plan to attack in the next couple of weeks."

"O..HH... kKK."

"I wanted to talk to you about... what I want... If I shouldnt return."

"DONT. Your not going anywhere. Your going to come home and we will be ok."

"Adrian..."

"No. You dont need to tell me this, because it isnt going to happen. Your my Rose; things get bad, but through all of that, you always make it through."

I was pacing, replacing her. She was standing still; her eyes full with tears. She walked up to me and grabbed me by my shoulders preventing me from moving any more. I could see she was scared, and then it dawned that maybe my ranting wasnt at all helping the situation.

"Adrian. I want to come home and not have to deal with these pressures, but I have to keep Lissa and everybody else safe. Its what I was put on this earth to do and as much as I want to just crawl into bed with you and stay there for a couple weeks, I cant. I will try, harder than ever before, to come home to you. But if I dont I want you to do something for me."

"Rose, please dont ask me to listen to this. I cant loose you, I just got used to having you hold me. I would be hell to have you taken away from me now. I love you so much."

"Please just promise me."

I was looking at her, and I could tell that everything she was saying was hurting her too. We were finally happy, and she didnt want that to end anymore than I did. She loved me and felt exactly how I was.

"Ok. What is it?"

"If something should happen to me, like me getting taken away and turned, I want you to help Dimitri kill me."

"WHAT!"

"I dont want to be like them Adrian. I cant. And if I do become one of them I would be too much of a battle to the court. I know to much. And I dont want to hurt Lissa... or you. The real me couldnt handle it if I did something to you. Please, help him."

"No."

"Adrian... Please."

She was holding me so tenderly, and I couldnt help but give her what she wanted. I would spend the rest of my life giving her what she wanted.

"OK."

She then pulled me close and kissed me. It was the way you kissed someone when you wanted things to happen. It made me want her and the way she was pushing herself onto me, made me crazy. She pulled away and began to unbotton her blouse. It was only then what she was signaling to.

"Dont Rose, not unless you really want to. I wont be able to stop once I have started."

"So your telling me that you dont want me?"

She was taking her blouse off and I couldnt believe what I was seeing. She was more perfect than I had ever imagined. My dreams of her didnt do her any justice, because as she stood there, it was only then that I could truely believe I was in the land of slumber. She was wearing a black lacey bra, that pushed her breasts up and made them look so eluring.

"I want you so much right now."

"Well come over here. I want you too."

As I walked over to her, I grabbed her and held her close to me. I couldnt get enough of her. There wasnt a place on her body that I didnt want to touch; not a place I didnt want to devour and praise. She was nibbling at my ear, and it sent shivers down my body like no one before her. She was so intoxicating and I couldnt believe that she was letting me touch her in such a private way.

"Come here."

She led me to the bed and took off my shirt and pants, so that I was standing in nothing but my boxers standing to attention. She was taking her time taking her pants off as I sat on the bed watching her. She bent over showing me everything and I knew I would never want someone else for the rest of my exsistance. All the other woman I had been with could never compare to what was happening now. She would be the begining and the end for me; always. Walking over to me, she looked like a goddess; hair flowing, black lace and confidence. It was pure beauty. As she pushed me down, she straddled me whispering in my ear.

"Do you want to stop? It looks like your stunned."

"Rose, you have no idea how good you look right now."

"Protection please."

We didnt talk much after that. It was like magic. There was no other way to explain how it felt to me. Where she touched me left me burning and wanting more. There was never a time where she didnt hold me tight enough, where she kissed me enough or whispered my name enough. The rythem of our bodies took over and we found our own pace. We wouldnt rush, there was nothing apart from each other. The world could start burning and it would be cool compared to the passion flaming in the room. Half way through she grabbed my face and spoke.

"Im going to let you do something, something I will never let anyone ever do to me. It will only be for you."

Thats when she brought my face to her breast. I didnt know what she wanted until she pulled her hair to one side and revealed her breast more. I could instantly tell what she wanted. I didnt want to push it. I was happy that she had opened up enough to give me her body. This was entirely unexpected.

"Rose, you dont... have to do... that. I know how you... feel about... that."

"I want you to. Then you will finally know how much I love you."

I inhaled her scent and it was calling my name more than anything or anyone before had ever. I had never done it before and I was glad, because now this would be something that I only shared with her and she had only shared this with me. It was our little gift to each other; something that no one could take away from us. It would forever be lasting like time itself.

"Rose, your always such a suprise."

As I nibbled on her flesh I could see she was waiting. Then I did it. And she tasted like pure life, like her entire being was now coursing through my veins, leaving only her behind. I couldnt believe that she trusted and loved me enough to let me do this to her. I could feel her warmth running through me and it was like she was bringing me to life from the inside out. As I pulled back she was smiling. It wasnt the type of smile the groupies got, becuase I didnt continue long enough, it was a smile of content and satisfaction and of whole hearted love and trust.

As we found our release, I could feel her glow chasing away my demons. Just when I thought that my life had peaked, she took me higher; higher than I would ever be able to do on my own. If it was up to me, I would live my life between making her happy and burying myself in her. I had always wanted her but this was more than I could ever imagine. It was always just sex for me with the others. But this was more than that. She was my religon and I would spend everyday for eternity worshipping her. As we held each other close afterwards, she whispered in my ear.

"Now you know. There will never be another for me. Its only you."

Afterwards we just lay holding each other. We didnt need to say anything or do anything because every emotion was put into what we just did. She was resting her head on my bare chest, and I couldnt think of a more peacefull and wonderfull place on earth than right here. I would follow her wherever she went, be whatever she needed, do whatever she wanted; thats how much I loved her.

"Adrian..."

"Hmmm..."

"Im scared."

That wasnt what I was expecting.

"Why?"

"Im scared that our worlds will pull us apart. Im scared that something will happen to and I wont be able to come back to you and be this way again. Im scared that Im going to leave you to be that man waiting on the hill for a girl who will never come home."

She looked up at me and stroked me face looking me straight in the eyes. She was the only person in the whole world, that I would allow this for this long. I didnt like people staring at me, but when it was her, time stood still and there wasnt a moment when she was looking my eyes, that I wished she would stop.

"But most of all, Im scared that you will leave. Im scared that you will one day leave and I will be broken again."

"Im never leaving you. And if you need me to tell you that 100 times a day for years, I will do it. I wont be as dumb as he was, you are and always will be more than enough for me. Im so lucky you chose me babe. I will forever be greatful to whoever is upstairs, that your in my life."

I could see she was sleepy and she was fighting sleep. I kissed her head and let it rest again on my chest. A couple minutes later she was in slumber. After taking off my condom and throwing it on the floor next to the bed, somewhat masterfuly, I too found slumber. And this time I didnt dream. I didnt have any about my wants and desires or have those nightmares about the life that I could live. I didnt need to, all my dreams and hopes that I wished for was sleeping right next to me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everybody. Hope your loving the story as much as I am enjoying writing it. **

**Firstly there are some concerns that this is more a Adrian and Rose story, and maybe thats true for the first half of the story. But there are twists and turns and nothing is set in stone... yet.**

**Secondly, I want everyone to review and put there thoughts out there. This is my second fanfiction and to be honest I am having more fun writting this one, than my other one. So please feel free to message me or review, because I will always reply to everything. **

**And to a special guest that commented on my writing as "mind blowing" you will never know how much that meant to me. Keep them coming.**

**Much love from me to you**

**:)**

*ROSE POV*

We didnt have much time and I knew it. There was something sturring and it was making me worried. There was so much going on and to make matters worse, there were more and more attacks. They were coming more frequently and worse still they were even more vicious. We had always counted on the fact that they wouldnt attack anytime near day time, but they were attacking closer and closer to sunrise. It seemed like they were pushing for something but we didnt know what. That made me feel hopeless and miserable. I always knew what to do and how to act but I couldnt do anything but train and make plans. We had been granted by the queen to go on the offensive, but the date for departure was a mere weeks off; 2 weeks was all I had left. We had planned to attack earlier, but I wanted more time. I had fought against the Stigori and I was well aware, that they played by their own set of rules. I didnt want anything to happen to anyone, because it would mean the worst for the rest of us. This wasnt just a battle for dominance or territory anymore, it was literally life and death for everyone now. It had been a long time since I had all this self doubt rumbling around in my head, and I didnt want it in there one bit. I didnt want to be nothing less than ready. I had to be strong for everyone that was looking up to me and looking at me for guidance. Most of the royals had come decided to flood to either court or the accademy and I was thankful for that. I meant that we would be a united force and it would be easier to protect all that needed protection, but it also meant that we were a big target. I had enforced that everyone would move in groups of at least 4 and that everyone of the Guardians would be in constant contact. I was even granted money to upgrade the walkie talkies. They were more advanced in that they came with a panic button and GPS siganlling. Some guardians had even gone to the length of having a small GPS tracker placed under the skin on the backs of thier neck.

I was a common thought that if one Guardian was captured, they would want there location known, so they could be terimated. I had one implanted, although I told no one and always side tracked Adrian when he enquired about what the change with me was. I didnt want him to worry anymore than he already was. He had brought it on himself to go into his own training. He had told me that he wanted to join me in battle. I was against it not only because he was a royal who was a spirit user, but also because he meant so much to me. I couldnt imagine if something happened to him, and if I had to hunt him, he would be the only person that I dont think I would be able to kill myself. But he was adiment that he go, if not to protect me, to heal the others. I was amazed when he showed me just how much he had tought himself. He was so focused on it, and I couldnt believe my eyes. Thinking about it now, I couldnt help but smile at a focused Adrian.

"Adrian what is it? I dont want to talk about battle. We only get a little bit of time with each other and I dont want to talk about what might happen. I just want to get lost in you."

"I do too. But I wanted to show you this honey."

He walked over to centre of the room and began to concerntrate. The little wrinkle in between his brows was so cute and it took all I had to not just jump him then. But after a few moments, I could see something happening. He had his palms facing upwards at hip height and then the room was glowing with such a bright glow. It was like the sun was coming out of his palms. It didnt hurt me and it didnt seem to affect him much, but I knew exactly what this was. He was using spirit to maifest the sun. He was using his spirit as a weapon, a weapon as powerfull as the sun. All I could think of was how proud I was of him. This obviously taken alot to learn and master, and when he finished and the light receeded, I could see he was smilling.

"Suprised?"

"Adrian, how did you do that? I thought spirit could only heal. What have you been up to? This is impossible."

"At first I thought it was and when I thought about what would kill the stigori quickest, the sun came to mind. I had mastered healing and moved on to this. It was easier than it looked."

"How? You had some trouble the first time that you used spirit with Lissa. You couldnt have mastered it in a couple days. I know your focused but this is just unbelieveable. Your amazing."

"Well I have a theory about that."

"Well, do tell."

He walked over to me and I could tell he was a little tired. No matter how much you trained, spitit still took its toll on your body. It appeared like it didnt effect him as much, as he wasnt falling over and going to sleep instantly, but I could tell it had an effect on him. As he came and sat on the bed next to me I could see the sweat drops on his forehead, and I couldnt help by wipe them away.

"Well, when I first started using spirit, I was at a very dark time in my life. I was drinking and smoking and a bunch of other things your too pure to hear about. And on top of that I was having meaningless sex with any girl I could get my hands on, to make me forget about the disappointment I was to may parents."

"Aww.. Adrian Im so..."

"No Rose. Let me finish. I knew I could use spirit, but it was hard and very tiring to do so and as much as I tried I thought I wouldnt be able to get a firm grasp on it. The darkness that wrapped itself around it usually took over and prevented me from doing anything more."

"Yeah, just like Lissa. When she uses it, the darkness changes her. We all know that. But thankfully I cant take most of it and she doesnt have to feel much of the emotions that come with spirit use."

"Yeah, but recently I started trying again. Just after we started dating to be honest."

"Dont tell me this new found power is all because of me."

"Yes, well not you exactly."

"What do you mean?"

"Ok, when I was doing all those naughty little things it was like my spirit was battling against me because essentially I was doing the work of darkness. I wasnt happy and I didnt have any emotions or reasons that made me happy and so my spirit would fight me. But when I started trying after you, it was like I had all this power. It wasnt because of you per say, it was because of how I felt because of you. I wasnt using those substances anymore and I was focusing on the happiness that you gave me."

"Thats amazing."

"Yeah, it really is. It was like love and happiness allows me to use this light. You have no idea how good it feels when I use spirit now. Before it was draining and painfull and the alcohol and women would take me away from that, but now it like coming home. When I use my spirit now, its like this light and warmth just holds me. It feels like my childhood and my first love and the feeling of christmas and birthdays all wrapped into one. The only way I can describe it, is that I make me feel whole. Like the darkness I have been battling all my life really doesnt mean anything to me anymore and can never effect me again."

"Im so happy for you Adrian."

"I cant explain how happy this makes me. I love you and your such a big part of my life, but I have always worried that without you Im just a black hole. But now, I know what I have with spirit and it makes me hopefull that I was a good person this whole time. I just didnt know how to be and now that I do, I feel better. I feel like a good person and not some let down all the time."

"Your content Adrian. You are a good person and I knew that from the first moment that I met you. But Im so happy now that you see it too."

After that we made sweet love and that time it was different again. It was more intense; more loving. It meant more to him because now he felt worthy; worthy of happiness and of my love. And I could help but giggle at that thought. As I was walking back to the gym, I bumped in a tall figure.

"Im so sorr... Oh."

"Hello Rose."

"Hello Tasha."

What the hell was she doing here? Even though I was so happy with Adrian and was deeply in love with him, I couldnt help but feel hatred towards her for tearing Dimitri and I apart. She was the reason I didnt sleep well for 5years, the reason I cried every night. I would never forgive her.

"How have you been Rose?"

"Well. You?"

"Well, the Guardians are moving all the royals either here or court and since I have been a court a while now, I needed a change of scenery, as beautiful as court is, you just get sick of the same old place. I cant never stay in one spot to long."

"Oh. Thats nice."

"How are you and Dimka?"

"Dimitri is fine. He should be around here somewhere?"

"I havent heard from him in a long time. I suppose I have you to thank for that."

"I have no idea what your talking about."

"Oh come one Rose. I know he came back for you. You probably wont let him communicate with me will you?"

"Whatever you think about Dimitri, is purely your own. I have not interfered with his life at all. Maybe he just doesnt want to talk to you."

"Sure he doesnt. Just becuase you guys are fucking now, doesnt mean anything. There will alwyas be a past and future for us. You cant get in between us again. I wont allow it."

"Im not sure what you have heard, but Guardian Belikov and I are not doing anything. And it would not be your buisness if we did anyways."

"Always with the riddles. I know you have had your claws in him since you met him. I wouldnt have let him go if it wasnt for you. We would be happy, if you had just learnt your place."

She looked me up and down and was sizing me up. I would punch the bitch right in the face, but I knew my duty and no matter what I felt about her, I didnt want to jepordise my standings amoungst the Guardians and that of the queen. She hovered at my left hand looking at my ring.

"He asked you to marry him? That bastard asked you to marry him? Not once did he ask me."

"No. I am not marrying Guardian Belikov."

"Dont lie to me, you fake. I can see the ring on your hand. I could have given him a life and a baby, but he was too busy thinking about you. We couldnt concieve because his heart wasnt in it apparently. Countless doctors have told me there was no reason why we couldnt have a child, but I came to the conclusion that ultimately he didnt want to. And its all becuase of you. You stole him."

"I have not agreed to marry him Lady Ozera. Its none of your buisness anyways."

There was no need to keep calling her Tasha. I went back into full Guardian mode, putting up my walls and keeping face. I wouldnt let her get the best of me, though I was silently happy that she would never have Dimitri's child. He deserved better, better than anything she had to offer him.

"Well who then?"

"Adrian Ivashkov."

"Adrian, the royal?"

"Yes."

"And what makes you think a blood whore like you is worth a royal? Its bad enough you have taken Dimka away, now you think you can breed with the likes of a royal."

"I dont need or want your approval. I never have and I dont see that changing anytime soon. If there isnt anything you needed I will be heading to the gym now. Im sure I will let Dimitri about your arrival. Maybe that you here, he wont be able to ignore you any longer."

"So he came back for you and you just left him?"

"I could touch him, after you got your hands on him. It disgusted me then and it still disgusts me now."

And with that I began to walk off. I was smilling and happy that I held my temper and walked away like the mature Guardian I was. I was heading around the corner when I heard her speak.

"You will regret this Rose. Trust me."

*DIMITRI POV*

I didnt know how I felt. She was really gone, and there was nothing I could ever do. Soon she would be his and there would never be another chance for her and I and that was like a knife in my sides, and made me regret the past. I had always pictured a future with Roza in it and now it wouldnt happen. I had only a short amount of time to try and change her mind. I wanted to be the one to see her walk down the asile to. I wanted to be able to see her in all white, looking flawless and breathtaking. It would make me so full of pride to call her , and have her at my side. But becuase a lapse of judment would cost me a lifetime of happiness.

I had been training with Roza alot lately, and I could tell she was getting more and more anxious. The old me would go up to her and hold her, but I couldnt anymore and that made me anxious. But instead, I was just a friend and at this point I was happy that she was letting me get that close to her. We had been partnering alot and demonstrating attacking and defense postions. Cluade would usually do this, but he was out scouting alot. Apparently, Roza didnt trust anyone else to do the job and come home safely. I had to admit I was a little gutted. Walking to the gym for our usual early training session, I could see Roza turn the corner with a smile on her face. I hated to think what happened for her to have that smile on her face, but when she saw me she just giggled.

"Well hello Guardian Belikov."

"Hello Roza..."

"You have a visitor."

"Dont tell me. Vicktoria is here. I told her to stay but she has been pestering me for a visit."

"As much as I would love to meet you sister, thats not who I was talking about."

"Well I cant think of anyone else."

"Hmm..."

"Who is it Roza?"

"Its Lady Ozera. She is was quite insistant on seeing you."

I could see she was smiling and joking but thats what put me off. If it had been anything like I thought it would be, I was sure I would find Tasha bleeding somewhere.

"Roza..."

"Relax, I didnt hurt her if thats what your thinking."

"Why are you smiling then?"

"Lets just say she wasnt at all approving of my engagement with Adrian, the bloodwhore that I am."

"Im so sorry Roza."

"Dont be. She thought we would be back together and then got pissed that we werent. Wierd woman that one is. But I do have the feeling, you will have to beat her off with a stick. She has a fatal attraction for you comrade. She was quite upset that you havent spoken to her in a while."

"I just cant. She isnt the same person I knew."

"Well you need to sort that shit out. We have more important things to worry about. Dont worry about the session now, go to her. I need you focused comrade. I need you."

And with that she was off giggling to herself. I couldnt believe it, she had most definately changed and what was worse it that it made me love her that much more. I didnt have to walk far to find Tasha. She was in the gardent near my room. I didnt know what I would say to her. She still was a person I cared for and we had left things on good terms, but those 5 years had left me with an impression of her.

"Hello Tasha."

"Oh hello DImka."

She ran up to me and hugged me tightly. She then tried to kiss me and for a second I actually allowed it. I wanted to see if I had felt anything, but true to form I rejected her. All I could think about was Roza even though she was with someone else. She would be all I wanted ever. And the thought of Tasha touching me gave me the wrong type of chills. She pulled back and sat on a garden chair at my feet.

"Whats wrong Dimka?"

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean? I thought you would be happy to see me, even though you havent spoken to me in while. I know your busy."

"Tasha, I meant what I said about Roza. Nothing has changed."

"You know why I couldnt fall pregnant? It wasnt me the whole time. It was you. You never really wanted a child with me and that somehow stopped us from having children. I went to ever doctor there was and they all said that there was no reason that we couldnt but then I realised it was because you still wanted her. You wanted her more than you ever wanted me and thats what stopped us."

"And you seriously think that if we did have children it would have made those feelings go away. Im sorry if you feel like I used you or if I hurt you, but I regret ever going. I made a mistake."

"You cant mean that."

"But I do. I never loved you the way I will always love her. Its not that same thing between you and I. It never will be. I thought we went over this all before."

"We did. And I thought I was over you, but I cant move on. I love you."

"I cant Tasha. I just cant."

"But she doesnt even want you anymore. She is marrying Adrian now. There is nothing stopping us from being together now. She is happy, why cant you and I be?"

"You just dont get it. I love her and only her. I dont care if she is with Adrian or another man. She will always be the love of my life and there will never be another person for me. Im just happy that she is allowing me in her life after the way I treated her."

"So you would rather be her friend than be a lover to me?"

"Tasha... I cant. My heart wont let me. We were always better as friends anyways."

"Were we? You were there. You wanted me. All those nights, and days; on every surface of that house. How can you say that didnt mean anything to you?"

"It did mean something to me. Just not the same way it did for you."

She got up and moved back towards me from where she was sitting in the garden. And took my face in her hands and looked me in the eyes. So many emotions were running through my head but all I could do was stand there and say nothing. I was frozen and stunned by her audacity.

"What you fail to see Dimka, is that I wont give up that easily. I will fight for us even if you wont. Its not over, and we will do it right this time around."

With that she kissed me passionately and her mouth englufed me. I felt disgusted and consumed. And all the while, I knew she would let up, and she wouldnt back down. It wasnt in her nature and it wasnt the way she was. Something terrible was coming, I could feel it.


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys. **

**Sorry about all the spelling mistakes and gramatical errors, but Im really having a lot of fun writing this and there are people waiting on the next chapters coming out. Im sure you get the gist of it anyways. Im looking for a BETA so hopefully it will flow better. **

**MUCH LOVE FROM ME TO YOU  
:)**

*ADRIAN POV*

I was so nervous. I was so consumed with panic at what I had planned for Rose that I was pacing. If everything turned out well, this would finally show how much I cared about her to the world. There was only a week before she would leave, and maybe not return, so every chance that I had to see her and hold her close meant so much more to me. And I could tell that she felt the same way.

I had orgainised with all her friends and just a few of mine to have a little ceremony before she went. It wouldnt be the offical type, just something small. I would make sure she would have a grand wedding when all this buisness with the Stegori calmed down enough for her to relax. Thank god for Lissa because she was the only person that could convince Rose to have a girly day. The conversation with Lissa was so cute, and it made me realise just how much of a good person and friends she was to Rose.

"Lissa?"

"Oh hey Adrian. How are you?"

"Ive been better, I wont lie."

"I know how you feel. One week and then the big battle. I have hardly seen Rose since this all started. Poor thing is working so hard."

"I know. Listen, there is something I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure, what is it?"

"I wanted to do something for Rose and I need you help."

"Oh really? What did you have in mind?"

"Well, I know that she has been stressing out alot, and I havent seen much of her either, what with our training sessions and her being away all the time. I know she hasnt even started thinking about the wedding and I know she wont until all this is over. I want to giver a taste of a wedding that will be waiting for her when all this is done."

"No way. You little heartthrob. Thats so perfect. Christian and I have been hounded her about the wedding and she always says that she cant do it because she doesnt know whats going to happen. I could tell that she was sad about that though."

"Yeah thats right. We havent spoken much about because of that reason. She keeps side tracking me. I need you to do me a favour."

"I know. Just ask already. Im already super excited. It will give us a reason to be happy while all this stuff is happening."

"I need you to distract her for one day. Make up some sort of excuse and get to hang out at yours for at least a couple hours. Then when its time I need you to get her ready and bring her to the location."

"WOW. Thats cool with me. Do you have everything ready? When is it happening?"

"It happening tomorrow night. There is this beautiful lake not to far from the accademy and its within the wards. There have been a team there all day to make the place perfect."

"You have really thought this through havent you?"

"Yes. Its all I cant think about while everything is happening. Oh and Lissa?"

"Yes?"

"There is a couple of dresses for you too. They are already at your house. You can thank Christian for that and Rose's dress is there too. There are some accessories too and heaps of shoes for you girls."

She looked at me like I was made of gold. It was only a second before she had me in a big hug. She had tears flowing down her rosey cheeks and her blonde hair was all in my face. If anyone was watching us, they would have found it humerous. I felt blessed.

"You are a good man Adrian. You have made her so happy and I know you love her just as much as she loves you."

She tightened her hug around me once more and then walked off towards her room, skipping and giggling the whole way there. It was nice to see at least a bit of my happiness start to flow areund the campus. It was so dark and fearful lately, and it was nice to see this one snapshot of how normal everything could be.

Thinking about that made me smile, not that I wasnt doing that like a nut right now. Looking around the lake I could see that everything was perfect. There was a simple white white tent where all the eating and drinking would take place. It was beautiful. The tables where decorated with white candles and little tulip flower arrangements. The chairs where wooden with white pillows. The fairy lights dangled in a natural way, and there the grass under foot. At the back of the room was a single table meant for Rose and I. It had a blood red table cloth and had large victorian chairs. In the centre of the table there was a single candle. We would use it later. The room was dimly lit and the sound of a small band that played in the corner echoed through the tent. There wasnt many tables, because this was something just for our close friends; It was something that we both would like.

Outside on the lake was even more glorious. They had bulit a little landing so that you could walk a little out on the water. The garden was lit my little fairy lights, and the florist that was hired had managed to bring in trees that hung over the water making it look mysterious. There was a little fog, but that added to the feel. Just next to the landing there was a archway, bordered with flowers and candles. Thats where we would speak our love. There were no chairs out, just and assembley of pillows and beautiful rugs. They looked beautiful and so soft. I had tried them out myself. I was tempted to take a few back to my room. Our friends would sit comfortably on the floor huddling close and enjoying our moment. On the water there was little lilli pads thats held lights, and the water looked so beautiful because there was little rock lights that we had assembled at the bottom of the lake. It was perfect.

I decided that our friends should be the first to arrive and I advised them to dress comfortably but nicely. And one by one they started trickling in. First it was Claude and Christian. After a brief gasp they came up to me.

"Wow Adrian. You really went all out."

"Yeah Christian. I want it to be perfect for her."

"Yeah Guardian Hathaway will love this."

After a handshake and a pat on the back, they found comfort in on the pillows and were given drinks by the waiters. Next was Eddie and Mia. They had the same expression and joined the others. What I was shocked to see next was my mother and the queen.

"Hello, mother. What are you doing here?"

"You will always be my son. No matter what. Im here."

"Thank you for coming. Thank you Queen."

"Rose means alot to me. She has shown great courage and faith in me and has been working tirelessly to hold on to our freedom. It is the least I could do."

"Im sorry your father couldnt be here. He had work."

The queen and my mother than walked away being followed by her Guardians. A couple more of her close Guardian colleges had arrived and some of her close students had came and were now seated. Alberta, the headmistress, and Roses mother had even turned up. I knew they would. They were just as proud of Rose as I was, even though they didnt need to voice it. There was about 20 people on pillows and talking amoungst themselves. There was only 3 people left, and one was coming up.

Dimitri. I wasnt going to invite him, but I knew that Rose would want him there. Even though he had broken her heart, they were friends now and as much as I hated it, he had helped build Rose into the amazing person she was now. As he approached, I could see his eyes were puffy and red, and I knew that no matter what happened between them he still loved her. I couldnt always hate him. I couldnt hate someone who loved Rose just as much as I did. I couldnt let my hatred for his past, cloud my future. He wasnt such a bad guy, he just made a really dumb mistake. It was one that I knew he would regret forever.

"Thank you for coming Dimitri."

"Its no problem."

And just as he was about to walk off to the others, I grabbed his arm. I needed to talk to him now, and get everything off my chest so I could start fresh. I didnt want things from the past to be present tonight.

"Dimitri."

"Yes Adrian. What is it?"

"I wanted you to know, I love her. I will never hurt her. You wont ever have to worry about me leaving and making her broken. I promise I will take care of her."

"I know. Im going to be honest with you though."

"Go on."

"I was so close to not coming tonight. But than I thought if had been the other way around, and I was doing this to you, you would still show up. You would be the bigger man, for Roza."

"I dont want any hate between us anymore, not with everything that going on. Life is too short."

"I dont want to hate you. It more I hate myself."

"She will be ok. I promise."

"I know, and I think thats the problem."

Then he was off, to join the others. And instead of the broken Dimitri I just saw, he replaced his sadness with fake joy. He was putting on a good show. But I knew better. I knew he was hurting, and for the first time since he came back I felt sorry for him. I would be the same way if Rose had choosen him instead of me. I would be broken and lifeless, but I had to be happy. This is what I have wanted for soo long. Ringing Lissa was next. She picked up on the 3rd ring.

"Lissa, its time."

*ROSE POV*

I had no idea why we were getting dressed up. It was fun and it was much needed but I had no idea why we were doing it. Lissa had used the excuse that we had needed a girl day, but I was suspicious. She was keeping her walls up and I couldnt tell how she was feeling. She had just popped into the other room to talk to someone on the phone, and that gave me a chance to really look at myself in the mirror. At first I didnt recognise myself, that seriously couldnt be me. I never looked like that in my life. My hair was perfect and flowing in long curls, that looked more like waves; it hung around my shoulders and down my back. My face had been plucked and pampered all day, and it looked good. I had to admit, I looked really good. I had charcol eyes, that made me all mysterious and glamorous. I was wearing not to much foundation and blush and had rose tint lips. But most of all, my dress had transformed me.

It was absolutely magnificent, all white and lace. It was a short sleeved champagne coloured gown. It was floorlength, and gathered at my neck. There was no back, and was low cut so it was just above my butt, thank god you couldnt see anything. There was beautiful embroidery and llittle jewels on the hem and at the split that ran up to my thigh was even more intricate embroidery. I was in love this dress, it was the type of dress girls searched for their whole lives, it was the type of dress that could stop a man in his tracks. I really felt like a princess.

When Lissa came back, she had changed into a golden baby doll dress. She look beautiful and sexy at the same time. It was something only she could pull off. I was envious of her.

"Well its time to go."

"Go where?"

"You'll see."

As we walked across campus, it was strangly quiet. But there were a few wondering Guardians. I was glad that whatever was happening didnt stop my reforms from being in place. As we began to walk across the field, I had a feeling we were going to the lake. It was somewhere Dimitri had shown me a lifetime agao. I was so thankful I had opted to go for petite ballet flats. Just as we were about to reach the lake I could hear a soft melody and I could see glowing lights. Something was definately up, I knew it.

"Lissa whats going on?"

She grabbed my hands and held them tightly in her own. It was only then that she brought her mental walls down and I could finally feel everything that she was feeling.

"Rose, you are my best friend, my sister and my family all rolled into one. You are so important to me and I am a better person for having known you. I couldnt have dealt with everything that I have gone through if I didnt have you to help me through it all. You have no idea what you do for people and its that selfless love that makes me so happy to know you. You have always defended me, always looked out for me, even if it meant that you risked your life. And I will always be greatful for that. You will always be in my heart and no matter what the future brings, we will always have each other. You can always count on me and I will always love you because you are my sister."

I couldnt help by cry a little too. She always said things that made me feel special, but this was different. This was so intense and so pure. I could see that for the rest of my life I would never be alone. I would always have a family and she would always be my best friend and sister. I was so lucky to have her in my life. As she wiped away my tears, we turned and moved closer towards the lake. And there near the lake was all my friends. Everybody. They were all sitting on rugs and were looking up at me.

It took a second to see what was planned out in front of me. The lake was transformed. It was beautiful before but it was spectacular now. There was lights and glitter everywhere, and the slight fog that lingered made it look like some sort of dream you would have. There were flowers everywhere, and everywhere I looked I could see the precision and love it would take to create something this amazing. The soft melody was in the background as I took in everyone that was sitting at the end of an aisle. Mia, Eddie, Claude even the headmistress Alberta. Then I saw my mother, and Adrians mother holding hands and smiling up at me. Then it dawned. This was my wedding. The wedding I was too busy to plan, to scared to think about. This was really happening. Looking around, I finally saw him. He was wearing a black suit and a champagne tie, the exact shade of my gown. Adrian. He must have planned all of this. He must have gone and done all of this with my closest of friends and family, because he knew I didnt have the heart to.

Lissa let go of me and sat near Christian. There I was standing alone at the begining of the aisle, thinking I wish I knew my father. I wish I had someone to walk me, wishing that I didnt have to look like there was no one in this world to give me away. I wish things were different, I wish I was closer to my mother and knew who my father was, but I wouldnt let that dampen something that had become so precious to me. Just as I was about to venture down byself, I felt a hand catch me and hold me like a gentleman would a lady. I looked up and saw Dimitri. He was smiling at me and a small tear fell from his eye. This would be killing him, and I knew how much it would take for him to be here right now. But again he suprised me. It was then that I knew I would keep him close to me for the rest of my life, my friend in arms no matter what.

"Thank you comrade."

As we walked down the aisle, I looked at my friends and family and saw them all smiling and tearing up. More suprisingly I saw Christian wipe away a tear and all I could do was giggle. He loved me too. I was surrounded by all this love and I knew I would never be alone again. And in a move as old as time, Dimitri took my hand as we reached the end of our walk. He kissed my cheek, shock Adrians hand and placed mine in his. This was his gift to me. He was giving me his blessing, he was letting me go. I would always love him for the kindness he was showing me, no matter how much it was killing him now. I didnt know what I had done to deserve someone as kind and selfless as him, but I would always be greatful. I would always treasure our stolen moments together, our kisses and our touches. But that was the past and he was leading me into my future, a future with Adrian.

Turning to Adrian, I had finally reached him. Thats when he spoke clear and loud, as if he was announcing it to the whole world. It was like he was reciting a prayer; with the way he looked there was no other way to describe it. He was shouting on the rooftops his love, and I was finally letting someone do it.

"When you find someone that you will love your whole lifetime, something changes in you. It isnt chemical or even physical, it spiritual. When Rose came into my life, thats when my life started. I knew there would be no one else in the world for me. I wanted us to be surrounded by our closest friends and family so that you could share in our moment. I know that everyone of you have made both Rose's and I lives better. Im so lucky to have each and everyone of you here."

He then turned to me and spoke his vows.

"I promise to worship you, to hold on to your dreams, to care for you when your hurt and to love you all my life. I vow that no one else will ever hold my heart and that its yours for all eternity. Time wont hurt us, only stregthen. Space wont hinder us, only reinforce us. For you my dear Rose, I would leave this earth so you could walk this life. I would give up everything to see you smile. I will hold your light in my heart and allow it to burn the truth and wisdom deep within me. I will only seek you, only want you. There will never be a love like you and I. I love you now and forever."

And with that he took my left hand and placed a beautifully intricated gold band next to the other ring. I didnt need to practise my lines, I didnt know I needed to. It all came from the heart. It was there all along, buried underneath everything. All those words that I would say, and all the feelings I could ever want him to know, was already playing in my heart.

"I promise to chase your darkness away, to be your light and your love. To forever live by yourside and forever accompany you. I promise to follow you into whatever battles are ahead of us. I promise to love you with my whole being, my soul and mind. I promise to be there for you, to listen to your needs and push you to strive. I will be the best I can be for you, I will want great things for you and hope only for the best for you. I will never be with someone other than you. You will be my beginning and my end. I love you now and forever."

Opps. This was the part where I was supposed to put a ring on his finger. Through the bond Lissa told me to look on the floor, and sure enough there was a box. There was a golden ring inside. I would have to mentally remember to praise Lissa for remembering every aspect of this wedding. As I put his ring on he spoke.

"Can someone bring the candle."

Dimitri appeared and handed Adrian a large white candle. Adrian took the candle and we held in our palms together. He then looked like he was concerntrating and began to manifest the sun I had seen him do before. This time I felt in my body. That warm feeling of home, that feeling of pure greatness. It coursed through me and to my amazement, the candle became lit.

"Like this candle, we will forever burn. You and I."

He placed the candle on a near by table and then took me into an embraced. He kissed me the way an angle would. It was a kiss that told you, you were worshipped, you were loved. It was the type of kiss that made you forget about the past and the future. It was the type of kiss that would consume you, it was the type of kiss you would measure every other kiss to. This kiss was endless and timeless. And perfect. We broke apart and all I could do was look into his beautiful green eyes, and see nothing but promise; hope for our future. Turning around, all the sound returned to my ears and the applause and cheering of my friends rang, and the image of Dimitri crying sobs burned into my memory.


	11. Chapter 11

*ADRIAN POV*

I couldnt imagine a more happy time in my entire life. It was the most joyful time and nothing that came after this would measure up to it. It was like my life finally felt right and I didnt have to fight tooth and nail for every shred of happiness. It was pure undiluted bliss. As we walked back into the tent, the chatter and melodies of the band filled my ears. There was not a worry in the world and nothing matter except for now. The future wasnt a cloud of doom that hung over us tonight; It would not play on our hearts. This moment was ours and no one could steal it from me.

"Adrian?"

"Hello Mrs. Ishakov."

It felt right; those words would forever be the thing that made my soul shine. She was mine and I was hers. Looking up at Rose I could see the smile spreading across her face. It was the first time that anyone had used her name, and even though it was legal, it was more than offical to the both of us.

"Hello back . How did you do this? I had no idea."

"I know, thats why it was the best thing. I know that you would never have the time to do it yourself. And I wanted to do something special for you."

"I almost forgot how it feels to be loved. Thank you, for reminding me. But how did you do all this? Lissa was obviously in on the whole thing, although it was a good excuse to spend some quality time with her."

"I have been thinking that the right now. And right now feels right. I dont want to miss a moment with you, not when they mean so much to me."

"Did you invite Dimitri?"

"Yes. I knew that you would be upset if he wasnt here. I know you love him, maybe not in the same way that you love me, but you still do. And Im ok with that. I knew he had to be here, not only for you but for me as well. I think I hated him for so long because of the hurt that he caused you. But I think there was more to that then I would ever let anyone know. When I first met him, he appeared focused and had a reason to wake up in the morning. He had people who loved him and more than that he had people that looked up to him and respected him. I think that I was envious of that and that I wanted what he had. But now Im in touch with my spirit and have the love of my life with me, I dont need to feel like Im not good enough. Im confident in myself and how my life is. I am in control of my life and my fate and I have you to thank you for that."

"Adrian... I didnt do anything but love you."

"Little Dhampire, when will you ever realise that, that means everything."

She came with a urge of lust and kissed me. It started rushed and needy but turned into something more. It turned to a kiss of promise; slow and unpaced. It was a show of what was to come. We would always have each other in our lives, and I would always be there to kiss, so it was passionate but completely unfazed.

"I need to talk to Dimitri."

"I thought you would. Hes still outside, I think."

*ROSE POV*

As I walked out to the lake, I could see his figure walking back a forth, pacing. It was such a Dimitri thing to do. Instead of being inside and getting caught up in the hype, he was out here punishing himself. I wanted to make things better for him, and be the person for him that he was for me when I walked down the aisle. Coming closer to him, I could see he was crying; big heartbreaking sobs. That was the reason for not going inside, he didnt want to ruin my night, or shift the spotlight from me onto him.

"Comrade? Are you ok?"

Turning to look at me I could see his eyes were puffy and red, and his hair had tracks from where he had run his hand through it over and over again. I couldnt take his pain, it mirrored mine. I loved this man. Not because he took my most precious gift a girl could give to anyone, but because I could see myself in him. I could see his loyalty, his thoughtfullness, his inability to give up. I loved him because he was all those things and so much more. He was turning away from me when I reached him. He was trying, for the first time since I had met him, to hide from me. It was like a knife in my side; we were alot of things but we were did not have the type of relationship to hide things from each other.

"Dont turn away from me comrade."

"Roza..."

"Why the tears? Arent weddings supposed to be a happy thing. You cant cry, not for me."

"I would cry an ocean of tears for you Roza."

"Thank you for walking me down the aisle. I was almost thinking that I would have to walk down myself. Thanks for saving me from that."

As he looked down at me, he grabbed my hand.

"Dance with me Roza."

I didnt have a chance to respond, one second I was standing alone and talking, and then the next he was holding me. I was close to his chest, and I let everything go. I closed my eyes and let this moment take me to where ever he wanted to take me. I could hear his heart beating; strong and steady. It felt like I was in a distant place, a place I used to call home. It felt like I was at a place I used to visit as a child or a dream I had when I was a child. How many nights had I dreamt about returning here; to believe that nothing had happened? How many wishes on stars had I used to bring me back here? How many times had I asked God to bring him back and now that I was here, it felt different. I would always want him and love him, but my heart would never forget and thats what stopped me. My heart didnt belong to him anymore, it belong to Adrian.

"Im sorry Comrade. I wish I could make you happy."

"No, Im sorry. This is your time and I am ruining it, but I cant stop thinking about it. It plays in my mind all the time, forever playing on a loop."

"Tell me. Please I want to know. What can I do to make you feel better?"

"Its too late now."

"I will do anything, anything but that. I cant."

"I know. But think of how I felt. That should have been me, up there in front of our friends and family announcing my love for you. Instead I chose to run and now, my life will never ever make sense again."

"You never did tell me why you ran."

"I ran because..."

"Just say what you have to comrade. It will be better for both of us if everything is out in the open. Only then can we really move forward."

"I... ran... because when... I ran because after I had made love to you, I realised that I wanted to be a father more than anything. I wanted to have little versions of you and me running around. I tried really hard not to think about it, and for hours I debated with myself about what I would do. But when it came down to it, I was selfish. I wanted a future and a chance to have my own family. I know I hurt you, but i didnt want to. I thought that you would move on and forget about me. Never did it ever cross my mind that you would cry everynight for me. I never thought I would hurt you as much as I did."

"But dont you see? You can have all of that now. You can have your little family and be happy and I wont even have a reason to hate you anymore. I am happy and you deserve that too. I have been through the reality that I may never have children, and it doesnt matter to me right now. But you shouldnt have to go through that. You should start a family. And I will be there to support you and be the best aunty that kid will ever know. We will all be there for you. All our friends will be more than happy for you."

"But I cant."

"Why cant you?"

"When Tasha and I were trying, it felt wrong, It was like my heart wasnt in it. I think I knew I loved you more then. I realised, that dream of children, and a wife at home with a smile and a kiss, would never happen if that girl wasnt you. My future meant nothing, if I wasnt sharing it with you."

"Dimitri..."

"No, I have to say it, or I will always carry it around with me."

"OK"

"About 2 years in, I knew nothing was gonna happen between Tasha and I. I could feel it when we would try. I just didnt want to have a child with her and thats when I knew you would be the only one for me. If we couldnt have children, that would be fine, there are alot of ways we can have children."

"You said 2 years? What did you for the other 3 years?"

"When I knew that there wouldnt be anyone else, I was going to tell Tasha. But when I got around to it, I couldnt bring myself to do it. I had already hurt you, and I couldnt do it to someone else. Also, I couldnt bring myself to come back to you even though I wanted to come back to you. I was stuck."

"Im so sorry that happened to you, but things happen for a reason. I dont believe that we both went through all this pain for no reason. I believe that we both be ok. I promise."

"I wish it were true. I know you will be happy. As much as Adrian annoys the shit out of me, I know he loves you more than he loves himself. Im happy for you both, but I cant keep myself together all the time."

"Im here whenever you need me. We are friends, and you mean alot to me. I couldnt bare to see you hurt."

As we danced and the music swelled around us, it was peaceful, at least to me. I knew there was a storm brewing in Dimitri, and it would slowly rip him apart. But all I could think about was the future. I didnt know what came over me when I asked him the next question.

"What will happen to us, if Adrian and I decide to start a family?"

There was a silence in him, and that scared me more than anything. I cant believe I just layed it all out on him. I should have eased into it, not added to his pain. After everything, I still was that teenager I was when we first met. Things just spilt out, not that I didnt try not to, it was just like my mental walls werent as strong when he was around.

"I dont know. I cant stop you from having one with him, I mean you should. That was something that I was essentally stealing that from you also. I never thought of that."

"Im sorry. I shouldnt have just come out with it. I didnt want to hurt you anymore than you already are."

"No, its good. Thats one of the things I love about you most."

To anyone else the silence would have been terrible after his last comment, but I knew better. He was thinking; thinking about the very real possibility that I may have someone elses child someday, thats if I survive the next couple weeks.

"No its a good thing. You offered to support me, and I will do the same thing for you. I know that you will make a great mother one day. Im just happy that maybe I will be around to see you and still be in your life."

Again. He had done it again. I thought he would say he couldnt stay close, thats what I would have tried to do in his position, but he was gifting me this. I know how much it would hurt him, but he wasnt running. He was gonna stay close. And even though he was hhurting now, I knew that time would heal his wounds. It had done that for me. As we danced I thanked whatever god for giving me this. This life. Even though it was broken and shattered and in a mess most of the time, it brought me people in my life that I wouldnt let go, no matter what.

-OoO-

It had been 5 days since my "wedding" and it felt like the days had blurred together. I had but a day to myself. Than I was back to training and preparing or the battle. We had close to 200 hundred Guardians along with another 200 hundred at both the accademy and the court. Both Lissa and the queen had been taken to a secret location, only myself and Alberta knew about. I was happy that Lissa and the queen was safe, that was one less thing I didnt have to worry about. And although Lissa was more than upset about leaving me, she war furious when she found out that Christian was staying to fight. Both him and Tasha had decided to stay, and as much as I hated Tasha she would be a much needed ally. She would be able to heal those hurt, and we were expecting many to come back injured, so I couldnt deny her request.

I knew that Dimitri would be hating the thought of fighting along side her, because she had become abit of a stalker since she arrived. Dimitri would never tell me much about but I knew he was having a hard time. She was more brazen, and out there than before. I had to throw her out of a very important meeting between Guardians a couple days ago. I remember the look on Dimitri's face when she burst in. I would have giggled but when I looked at him, I could tell it was no joking matter.

"So when we attack, we will be split into 4 different groups. Two of the groups will be the main attacking offense, One of the other groups which will be made up of mostly spirit users will be concerntrating on either blinding them or healing the wonded, and the last group made of the elementals, will be attacking from a far. There will..."

Just as I was about to finish my plan, she walked in. Her audicity would have been enough for me to kick her out, but the fact that she was hardly wearing anything made me a little uncomfortable. She had shorts pants on that showed most of her butt and a very see through long sleeved shirt. I thought it was embarssing for me just to look at her, but I would be more embarassed for Dimitri. I could see that he knew what she was up to, and even though he could see it coming, he couldnt do anything but watch it happen. As she walked towards him, she spoke to the whole group of about 30 Guardians. We were using the big hall so I could show maps and tatical plans, and as I was in front of all the other Guardians I had the floor at the moment.

"Well, what do we have here? Why wasnt I invited?After all, I will be battling amoungst you all."

When she looked at me, and how all the Guardians were all listening to me, it was like a light went off in her head. It was like she saw me, and instantly thought it would be hilarious if she embarrased me in front of everybody present. Little did she know, that the people in this room where more loyal to me than her and her antics wouldnt effect me or them one bit.

"If you will excuse us, Im trying to talk to the head Guardians about the battle. You will understand that this a meeting for the heads, not simply everyone involved. Im sure you understand Lady Ozera."

"Now now Guardian Hathaway, thats not nice. You know I have connections in very high places. I think that its only fitting that I sit in on this meeting, seeing as I wouldnt be a very wise choice to keep me away. Besides, my Dimka is allowed to be here."

That would have hurt if I wasnt so strong in myself. Right now it didnt hurt me, it just pissed me off. I hated that she thought she could come in here and throw her weight around and try to intimidate me in front of everybody. She may friends in high places, but I have just as many, and my friends are deadly.

"Lady Ozera, you may have friends in high places, but let me tell you this once and one time only. The only one of my friends you need to worry about right now is the queen. It would be such an imposition for both her and I, if I had to drag myself away from this immportant meeting, to call her about your little outburst right now."

That earnt a little giggle from the crowd behind me. I know that the Guardians behind me where in total agreement. The look on her face was pure hatred. I had done to her what she had set out to do, and I didnt look like a slut doing it. I looked mature and strong, but with what just happened she looked more like a whorish teenager than anything intimidating,

"Im sure the queen would love to hear about what is happening here. I will have to let her know when I call her later on."

I knew she was bluffing. There were only a selected few that had a line directly to the queen. They were Claude, myself and Alberta. Tasha was just trying to undo the humiliation that had already been done. But instead of calling her up on it, I just nodded. Before she was about to leave, she walked over to where Dimitri was leaning against a pole and pulled him into a kiss. This was a kiss that made my stomach turn, it was the type that you saw in porno. There was nothing loving or emotional about it. It was all for show, or to hurt me or put Dimitri in his place. If everybody didnt know what was happening between them, they deffinately knew now. When she pulled away she left her handson his chest, making little circles with her fingernails.

"Make sure you find me after this is all done. I wanna show you just how proud of you I am. Dont be to long."

She walked back toward me and the door, wiping her mouth and smiling.

"Goodbye Guardian Hathaway."

"Same to you Lady Ozera."

Ever since than I hadnt seen or even heard about Tasha. I was happy about it though, but I knew our paths would eventually cross and she would be looking for blood. Bring it on. I wasnt scared of her, not in the tiniest bit.

*ADRIAN POV*

In less than 2 days she would be going and I have no idea if she will be returning. That thought scares me more than anything. Even though I am going with her but I will be hiding behind her. I will be in group 3 and I hated that simply because of who I was, meant that I would be fighting but still be in a bubble of protection. She however would be in real danger. I knew that the Stegori wouldnt be expecting so many Guardians and not to mention all the extra forces there, but it did calm my nerves. I had been training hard since my wedding and just I was about to leave to train somemore, something hit me.

It was like an invisible force, a wall that I couldnt see or touch. I was grasping for breath and even though I was panting it was like I couldnt get any air into my lungs. All I could feel was a pull, but from not anyone, but it seemed like it was from myself. I then felt that fimiliar pull of warmth; I knew it was my spirit. I was suddenly pulled into what I thought was a dream. No one could pull me into a dream when I was awake, so was immediately scared. This was something new. I didnt know who was doing it or why. Thats when the picutres starting flickering behind my closed eyes. Blood and heaps of it. There were bodies all over the ground and all I could feel was the intense cold. Next came Rose, she was bleeding from the head and looked really tired, she was looking at me, saying something to me. She looked scared; something was wrong. Next was Rose being taken. A man with blood red eyes, pulling her away from me; a battle raging on behind her. I couldnt get to her quick enough, she was already gone. Next was Rose, bright red eyes burning into me. It was terrifiying, but not as terriying as what happened next. The bodies of the queen, Lissa, Tasha, Dimitri and Eddie all at Roses feet, as she smiled at me. And I was next.

Snapping out of it, I felt it go. It was than that it was my spirit. It was warning me about the to close future. I felt that same buzz that happened when I left a dream that I had made for someone else. It was the only thing that made me think that what I saw was real, and that somehow I would have to save Rose. Everybodies life depended on it.


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey guys. Sorry for such a long time between chapters. I know its been a while but thank you to all those people who are still fans and still keep in touch. Im gonna try and keep up, as I have some time on my hands. **

**Thanks for keeping up with me and the story that I love to write.**

*ROSE POV*

Tommorow, thats all that I could think about. I couldnt concerntrate on anything else for more than a couple seconds. It was clouding my mind and making me nervous. I usually wasnt like this. I was known for being able to keep a lid on my emotions and compartmentalise what I needed to do and who I needed to be. But I couldnt, this time it was different. There was so much more at stake this time; much more than my life. It was the lives of those who I cared that were on the line and that thought made my insides turn. I couldnt bear to loose anyone of the people that were venturing with me. If I could lie down, and give up my life for them I would and I would be happy to do it. I know that my friends and husband wouldnt want that, but if it meant that they were happy and safe, it would all be worth it. But at the same time, I want so badly to be able to see them happy; to be able to be apart of that happiness; to allow myself that little peice. Nevertheless, they come first.

All I could do was pace, back and forth in my room. I left the lights off and let my hair fall down my back. My training gear was washed and folded neatly on the desk, and my few precious belongings in a small box next to them. It seemed so final. It was the last chance to be alone and think, even if my thoughts were morbid and frightening. I had retreated from Adrians because he was acting strange. He would keep looking at me and saying ridiculous statements about what he would want for me should he not come back home with us when the battle was over. I couldnt bring myself to do the same thing. I couldnt bear to tell him to move on if I didnt return, my heart wouldnt allow me to. I couldnt stand there and let him go, not after everything we had been through together; I wouldnt just give up on him. I would fight to come back. And I knew he would to. But he needed it, he needed me to know that he wanted me happy. He was mine and I was his, and in a normal world, we would be planning our future together, not deciding paths to take if we should part. In a normal world I wouldnt be sitting alone in my room going over that conversation over and over.

"Adrian, why are you talking like this? You cant just give up. If thats the case, your not coming. Your going to stay here, so you cant throw yourself in harms way."

"Rose, thats not what I am saying. Im telling you this because its something I need. I have to get this off my chest, because I dont want to risk you out there. I dont want to have to take your focus off the battle and possibly get hurt. Just please sit down."

He walked me to the bed. There was countless memories of us in this bed, all those memories will walk with me every step of my journey. It will be something that will never be replaced. Holding his hand, always made me feel like a little girl. Something as little as his hands in mine, caused my heart to falter. Every moment leading up to us being together, made me love him more. And now, with the way he was looking at me, made me feel like that little bit of happiness that I got back would be taken away.

"It just I want you to be happy. I dont want you sad again. I want you to move on if something should happen."

"NO."

"Please. Stop this. I love you too much to see this beautiful woman wilt away because of me."

"There will never be another person for me. Your my everything."

"And you are to me. But Rose... If I dont come back... if..."

"Just stop. Why are you doing this to me? Nothing is going to happen to you."

"Please just let me get this out. It will make me feel alot better if its off my chest."

He was looking into my eyes, with big green eyes that burrowed into my soul. I could see our future there, if we had a normal life. I could see us happy, I could see him holding my hand as we walked along the water; I could see his happy smirk as I told him we were having our first child. I could see us building our home, and watching our children play. I could see how blissful and peaceful our lives would be, If only. I had never wanted more to be blissfully human, than when I was looking into his eyes.

"You know what tomorrow is."

"I know Adrian. Its all I can think about."

"Its all I can think about too. I wish that... that... there..."

I could feel the tears in my heart before they fell. They fell silent andleft little trace, but I knew they were there. I wanted to make his pain go away, and more than that I wanted to stop him from ever shedding a tear again. It wasnt the Adrian I knew. He was strong and powerfull and underestimated. And so was I. But our love had made us weaker. And that weakness meant more than anything.

"Adrian please. Everything is going to be ok. We have planned as much as we can, and there are more royals than we thought would join. Lissa is safe and so is the queen. And more importantly, we are ok. Our wedding was proof that even in the midst of all this fighting and horror, that there is hope. You are my hope."

"Rose, I couldnt imagine what I would do if you didnt come home with me? I dont think I could live a second without you."

"I feel the same way. If you do something stupid while we are out there, I dont know if I could ever forgive you."

"Rose..."

"No you listen to me Adrian. I have been broken, shattered, and beaten. I have risked my life over and over for more important people than myself. I have loved and lost all faith in love and never been more alone in my life. I have seen darkness and walked amoungst evil. There was a time in my life where waking up and sleeping was the only thing that brought me some shred of... content. I have cried for years, mouring the love that I had lost and I have watched the happiness of others, but never thought I would ever touch that or feel what that was. But you gave me... you gave me the light. You made me believe. You fought for us even when I was to blinded to do so for myself, and now when I need you to fight, you want to give up. Please dont give up on us."

"Im not."

"Then what are you telling me?"

"Im telling you what you already know. You know who I was and how much my old life hurt me. You know I too didnt believe in anything, much less the thought of there being an epic love for me. You know that I am a changed man, and its because of you."

"Adrian.. you know.."

"No its my turn Rose. I have never had this."

He placed his hand over his heart with one hand and with the other he placed it on my heart. Im sure he could feel my heart beating wildly and unaturally. But all he did was smile and close his eyes. His wet cheeks glistened in the dim lights, and for a few seconds, there was no other person on the planet; it was just us and this perfect moment.

"I have never had a complete heart. I have always had half. For most of my life I felt like there was something missing and as much as I tried to fill it with either alcohol or women. But all that has changed and my heart is now complete and its because you carried the other peice. You make me whole."

When he opened his eyes, he moved to touch my face. His hands were trembling. He never trembled, not the first time we made love, not the first time Dimitri returned, not even when I said yes to being his. But now, all I could feel was his shakey hands.

"I promise that I will fight. And I will fight with all that I have so that I may return home. But I cannot go into battle with you and be confident, without telling you this now."

"OK"

"Rose, I want you to do two things for me, if something should happen to me. And I want you to promise me, that you will do what I ask no matter what. And I want you to trust in me that what I am asking you to do, is what I want, and that there is no way under any circumstances, that I would ever want anything else."

"OK. I promise."

"The first thing, is that if something should happen, that you will take all my assets and that you will live the way I would have wanted you to. I have already written up a will, leaving everything that I own to you. I want you to be able to have the things that make you happy. I want you to be able to go to places and buy the things that I would have loved to get for you."

"You know that I may not want all of that if it means your gone. And what about your family?"

"They are well aware of what my wishes are. My father was less than happy, but my mother didnt really care what I did with my inheritance."

"OK. And the last thing?"

"I have a letter and I want you to read it when Im gone. But that isnt what the last thing is."

"Well I could read the letter now."

"No. If I make it back, we will read it together, but what I want you to do now is just sit there and let me show you something."

"Show me what?"

"Just sit there. And close your eyes."

As I closed my eyes, I couldnt help but think that I would open my eyes to see some grand gesture of love. It wasnt the type of thing that I was into and Adrian was sure to know that too. But I was suddenly shocked, when I felt a wave of warmth flow through my body. It was all tingling and changing. I could feel my blood grow warmer, my face heat and my mind swirl. I felt wonderful, like all my problems and worries were gone. It was like I was coming home; it felt like walking in the sun on a cold day. Like the wings of a butterfly, it fluttered through me. It was some invisiable glow that covered every inch of my body. It felt like my second skin, like it was always meant for me; like somehow this amazing glow belonged to me. When it began to fade, I opened my eyes. I saw Adrian smiling, with a little frown of exhaustion.

"Adrian what was that?"

"Go look in the mirror. I wasnt sure it would work, but apparently it did."

Getting up, I felt like I had slept for days and was completely restored. I hadnt felt this way in a long time. I was light on my feet and the years of training and vigorious exertion of energy seemed to drip away. I could feel Adrians smile on my back as I walked to his floor length mirror. When I came into view, I couldnt believe my eyes. My hair was longer and looked healthier, all the bruises that covered my arms and legs were gone and I looked like I was glowing. But that wasnt the thing that shocked me most.

"Adrian, what happened?"

"Its my gift to you. I have been working on it since I found out that you were going. I thought that if being shadowkissed with Lissa kept you in connection with Lissa, I thought that maybe there was someway that I could share my spirit with you."

"Yeah, but thats because I died. I dont know what this is."

"It took me sometime to figure it out but when I did, it all made perfect sense. When I was in my dark years, my spirit rebeled against me. It was like it was trying to bring me to the light, and even though nearly drove me insane, it makes perfect sense now. Then, I was attracting the darkness to me because I was unhappy and didnt have a purpose, and thats what drove me crazy. And all that alchol made it worse. But when you decided to be mine, it was like my spirit was finally complete. I had a connection with my spirit that I hadnt had before. It was more tangible and I was able to understand it better. Healing became easier and took less toll on me, and then I realised I could do more."

"Like?"

"I realised that I could dream walk when I wasnt dreaming, I could see images in people auras and more importantly I could give some spirit to others."

"Yeah but you could do that before."

"This is different. Before spirit would leave after its work was done. Once someone was healed it would leave and return to the person it left. Thats why after I would be tired, until it returned to me."

"It must be the same with Lissa."

"But there is something else. I believe our spirit reacts to what I call "Our Choosen"."

"What do you mean?"

"What just happened then is, I gave you most of my spirit. I split myself and gave it to you. It will make you stronger in battle, it has healed you and made your body perfect, not that it wasnt before. It will make everything about you, better. Its the only thing that I could give you that you couldnt give back. Im sure it would happen with Lissa should she decide to give it to Christian."

"Why? Why would you do that? What about you?"

"Like I said, I can still feel my spirit with me, and I could do all the other things I could before, it just means that you have a little of me within you. It will protect you and keep you safe. There are some other little bonuses I suspect, but you will have to tell me becuase Im not 100% sure."

"Whats wrong with my eyes?"

It was the first time we had brought it up. My usual brown eyes were gone, and in its place where golden ones, not bright but not dull enough to not notice. As I looked up, I saw that Adrian had the same eyes.

"Whats wrong with mine, Little Dhampire? We are the same. You will be connected to me and have a peice of me forever. Here, close your eyes."

I felt him walk up behind me and wrap his arms around me. Closing my eyes, I began to focus. I could feel something buliding. And then I could see and hear Adrian in my head.

_**Suprised little Dhampire**_

Shocked, my eyes flew open and I turned to him. I needed to try it too.

_**Adrian, can you hear me?**_

_**Of course. **_

__Turning away, I felt him leave. He was out of his mind, and I was out of his.

"How is this possible?"

"We share a something that no one else has. Im sure there is more, but I just want you to promise. Promise me, that if something should happen to me, you will read the letter and..."

"And what?"

"Let me send the rest of my spirit to you. I dont know what will happen, but I know that my spirit will protect you and I want that for you, forever."

"Thats more than two things you know."

"It may well be."

And then he kissed me and I kissed back. I left with the excuse that I needed to get something from my room. But that was an hour ago. It still amazed me that I was loved so much by someone and it was alot to take in. How could he do this for me, even at the cost of himself. I would love him forever, because he would give up himself, in the chance that I would live on. 10 mins later I was running to his room. Lying on the bed, he looked as if he knew I was coming. He had no shirt on, just pants. Racing to his arms, there was nothing but the kiss and the feeling of him wrapped around me. He was the air that I breathed and the light I needed to see.

"Make me forget. Just for tonight. Just you and me. Make me forget."

"I love you Rose."

And with that I did forget. I forgot that this might be the last time I held him this way, I forgot that tomorrow would decide the rest of my future, I forgot the battles and the endless bloodshed. That night was all about us, and we made love like time was our friend.

*DIMITR POV*

I couldnt sleep well. I was worried about the next day. There was so much at stake. Roza was at stake and no matter what she wouldnt stay behind, part of me hated that she wouldnt just stay and be safe, but a bigger part of me loved that she was fighting for something she believed in. It was one of the things that made me want her more. Before the battle was worse. I wanted nothing more than to be the one to protect her, but that was Adrians job now. I would still lay down for her, but I didnt want to make and already awkard situation more intense. She knew I loved her, almost everbody did, but she had choosen another and instead of being a overbearing stalker, I decided to accept her wishes and be the person she needed me to be. I would still love her and probably would always still love her, but I knew that she would never feel that way about me again. It was the price I would have to pay for being so foolish.

When she walked into the meeting before the battle, something had changed about her. It wasnt that she wasnt beautiful before, but now she looked soo beautiful it actually hurt. She looked rested, like the years had been stripped from her. Her hair was in a long braid and ran down the middle of her back, her skin was flawless and devoid of all the cuts and bruies and she looked like she had put on some muscle overnight. She looked confident and dangerous. A tall goddess that was in charge of her own world. It wasnt until she looked up that I saw the most drastic change, her eyes. They were a breathtaking gold, like warm honey. It was amazing to see. It was the type of thing only a few special few only ever saw; something as beautiful as an eclipse. Shortly after her, Adrian walked in sporting the same golden eyes, and I felt my already broken heart, break that tiny bit more. It was something magical that they had done for each other. In the night, they would have had those precious last touches, those kisses that lingered and the embraces that could last forever. They had made that promise and then commited it with magical ties, giving them something that the world would recongise. It was something I did not have. I slept alone, tossing and turning in complete darkness, without a single comforting touch. I woke up alone, had breakfast alone and got ready alone. I would always be alone because there was no one I wanted more than her. It was a torture I had caused myself. I should feel this uncared for. As she walked towards me, I had to hide my emotions and put my mask on. I would suffer in silence.

"Dimitri, you ready?"

"Yes Roza, I am. Those look new."

"Yeah, the eyes. Everybody has been asking about them, but it was something that Adrian gave me and I want to keep that one thing for us."

"That sounds nice."

I couldnt help but keep the sting out of my voice. It just came out and I immediately regreted it. I couldnt hate her because she wasnt mine, I couldnt hate her because she found someone who loved her like I did and still do.

"Dimitri, please be safe out there. I want to you come back in one piece. No heriocs, ok?"

"Roza, just focus on you. I will do what I have to do."

She grabbed my hand and forced me to look into her now more alluring eyes.

"You still mean alot to me. Dont abandon me again."

And with that she walked back to the waiting arms of Adrian. I was stunned silent. I had abandoned her and now she was asking me not to do it again. It still amazed me how she could sum up in a few sentences how she felt, and make you feel that same way. I couldnt fail her again.

In the next hour, everyone was suited up and ready to go. We had been spilt into our groups and given our assignments. Our small army was ready to take on the ememy. It was our duty, to protect what we had sworn to give our lives to and to proect those we cared about more than ourselves. I couldnt help but look at Roza. I could see how much I would give up to have her safe. There was a small moment where, I saw her clsoing her eyes and concerntrating hard, I could tell by the little lines that formed on her forehead. She smiled and touched the ring that Adrian had given her. It was obvious to me that it was something private between them, but I couldnt turn away. She looked at Adrian and mouthed words to him and looked up. Our eyes met and in that moment I tried to send her messages of my own.

_**Im sorry Roza. Im so sorry. I love you. Please be ok. I dont want anything to happen to you. You will take the sun with you if you go.**_

She was looking at me like she could hear everything I was saying. It was scary. I was shocked by what came next.

_**I love you too Dimitri. Stay safe and on your toes. **_

I was shocked, I looked around to see if anyone else had heard what had happened, but everyone was busying themselves getting ready. I looked at her again, and then she nodded her head and smiled a shy smile. She knew what she was doing and knew I would be suprised. As she walked to the front of our army, she began giving instructions to what would be happing next.

She was commading the troops like it was nothing to her, like she was ready to die; like she wasnt afraid of the future. Looking at her gave me strength. If she could be all that was required of us, I was sure to be able to do the same. It didnt take us long to get to the old school grounds where they were rumoured to be staying. Claude had done some scouting and discovered that under the school there were dozens of tunnles stretching far, far enough to be within jogging range of the Accademy. As we made our way to the old school, I felt the fear of what was about to happen finally hit home.

The war was beginning.


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys, here is another chapter. I know that you all want more and Iam trying to pump them out and get them to you as soon as I possibly can. There is alot to put into the chapters and alot of thought, so hopefully its well worth the wait. **

**Again, I would love to hear from you guys and get a feel for what you think of the story so far. And more than that please sign in so I can respond to you personally and tell you what you want to know.**

**But apart from that enjoy! **

**Much love from me to you.**

**:)**

*Adrian POV*

I walked past this school; I had seen this school many times since coming back. It wasnt to far from the Academy and I usually drove past it when I had one of my bad nights. If someone had told me that a couple years later we would be standing at its door, ready for death, I would have laughed in their faces. I would have also laughed if I was told I would end up with Rose as my wife, so I guess that the universe has a sense of humor. It was dark out, and that darkness put us at risk. There had been many heated discussions about when exactly we should attack, and many thought it would be a good choice to attack during the day, but it was decided that because there was tunnels deep underground, there would be little chance that the sun would help. Rose also made the point, that they wouldnt be expecting an attack during the dark, because it wasnt something that anybody in there right mind would even attempt doing. It was one of the little advantages that we had, and every little advantage needed to be used. We neeed all the help we could get.

Standing outside the highschool, you could tell no one had been inside for a long time. The metal chain fence was at least 4 feet high, and even though there was a notice of demolition, I knew it would never get demolished. The sign had been there when I arrived at the Accademy and it was now apparent that it was just a ruse, and that there was in fact alot of people living in and underneath the building. All the windows were boarded up, and on the front wooden doors was a large orange x engulfing the frame. The concrete of the playground was cracked, the childrens play ground was falling to bits, and the little life of the grass that sprouted through the cracked concrete looked dead or dying. There was nothing about this place that was inviting, and the three stories made the building look monsterious and frightening. Looking at it now, I could see the evil surrounding it. It was like there was a cloud of blackness, and the closer we got to it the more I could feel it. It was like my spirit could feel the darkness and because of what my spirit had now become.

When I had finally let Rose feel what I could my spirit could do, it was like a weight had been lifted of my shoulders. I had wanted to show as soon as I really knew that I could do it. But from the look on her face, I knew that she was as shocked as I felt the first time I did it. But what suprised me, was how eager my spirit felt to go to her. It was like it was racing to protect and comfort her. When peices of it left me, I thought I would feel all those dark feelings come back. I thought that because all of my new found spirit wasnt with me, that I would fall back into those thoughts and images of horrible places and loneliness, but it didnt. If anything I felt better; more alive, more intrigued by the little beauties in the world. Like the way Rose smiled when no one was looking, how her hair danced in the sun or how her lips on mine where light as feathers but a hot as the sun. Even with our short time, we managed to be as if nothing was rushing us. Looking at Rose as she stood looking up at the building and talking on her headset I could feel her rather than hear her emotions. Fear, hope, wonder all in quick bursts.

_**Dont worry Little Dhampire, everything is going to be ok. Just be prepared for whats going to be in there. It may be worse than we thought.**_

_**Adrian, please stay safe. Dont leave me ok.**_

__All I could do was smile. I knew that she would feel my feelings to. It was then that she left. She was in the first group to go in, I wouldnt go in till along time afterwards. They first team would scout and make sure it was safe for the rest of us to join. I hated being left behind, it felt like I was doing nothing but waiting for the dime to drop. After about 10mins I could feel that she was resting. Her group had taken out the watchmen with ease and was now waiting for the regroup. It was amazing to watch her fight but to actually feel it was a whole different experience. It was like the love of the battle and the fear for her loved ones kept her going. Each kick, each strike was for others and not herself. As we started to move into the school, the smell was the first thing that you noticed. It was the type of smell that you would remember for the rest of your life, the type of smell that tore every other pleasant smell from memory. It was like metal, burning metal, mixed with blood. It wrapped itseldf around you, and any trace of happiness or warmth was left outside on the curb waiting for your return.

On the inside there was nothing. The walls were stripped back, all the furniture that would have been in a school was gone, and in its place was dnagling plastic and metal walls. It was a shell, a face to warn people from coming in. Once we walked in a little it seemed that the guardians spread out from behind us. I could see Tasha, her scarred face looking for any sign of an intruder. In the middle of the darken room there was a stairwell, that seemed to lead under the the structure. Making our way down the stairs there was a single corrider that spit into another three tunnels. I could see Roses team waiting the mouth of the tunnels.

"Up there, these two tunnels just lead to dead ends. They are just places they store the bodies until they move them. The other one is a dead end. If we move down this way there is somesort of lobby, that spans out and leads of to five other rooms."

"Claude, are you sure of this?"

"Rose, Im sure. I have one of them on the inside."

"Who?"

"My sister."

"Claude, I had no idea."

"We cant talk about this now. If we move quickly and as quietly as possible we should be able to block them off and kill as many as possible before they either become aware of our intrusion or make a run for it through the back playground."

"OK. We need some one to blind them so we can get closer."

_**Adrian, do you think you could do that for us?**_

_**Rose, you could probably do a better job at it then I could. But I will do it. I dont want you to get exhausted. **_

_**Thank you. **_

I could feel the build. It came so easy, I didnt even have to try hard. My mind spanded out. I could hear the thought of about sixty Stegori and about fourty humans. They were feeders, they would be more inclined to protect the stegori because there was something in it for them; a high none like any other. The humans minds were easiest. They were concerntrating on the next high, the stegori were harder. They were constantly changing their minds, their moods anyways going to and fro. With a little more concerntration, I was able to block their sight and render them useless. I couldnt keep it up long, so they needed to move in now.

_**Go baby, Go.**_

*R_OSE POV*_

With his voice echoing in my mind, I burst through the doors. The smell was horrific, but the sight was worse. There were about 10 incapicitated on the stone floor, eyes rolled back and limp, blood flowing out. Adrians block was working, and I didnt know how long he could hold it up. With the guardians spanning out across the room, we managed to take out nine of the stegori who were feeding. The room was in a frantic panic, and when I felt the snap, I could tell Adrian had not been able to keep it up any longer. I was proud that he kept it up as long as he did. I knew that even with his new abilities, it would take it out of him.

And as soon as the snap happened, the doors burst open. About fifty pairs of Red eyes were looking at us. They were something out of a horror movie and no matter how many times I had seen the light in their eyes fade, I would never kill enough. I hated them, not only for the pain and suffering they caused and the lives that they ruined; I hated them because they made my life less then what I wanted. Because of them, I would never have nights where I could sleep in 100% peace, I could never have my best friend as just my friend and most of all, because they stole my chance at a life full of the light. I would never stop, for a possiblity of that. Running hard, I smacked straight into a fist, causing me to falter, only slightly. It would have normally hurt, but it didnt. It just dazed me alittle. I turned and quickly killed him. Its hard to believe that they were once human, once spirited, once full of life. And now, no one would remember them, no one would come them. As I turned, I saw Claude and four other Guardians fighting against a half a dozen more. Adrian was fighting along side Tasha. I didnt trust her, but we needed her; simply for the numbers. I didnt trust her, and I never would. Looking at Adrian, I could tell he had trained. He was smoother in his movement, more refined and there was less moments where he looked like he didnt know what he was doing. He was a sight to look at.

I could see that we were winning, we had taken out more then half of them and most of the human feeders that were clinging on the fringes, but there was still a fight. The few remaining Stegori were older, more mature. They looked older; aged. One had bleach blonde hair and shocking blue eyes. She was a little bit taller than I was and more bulit. The other two, looked like brothers, brown hair and eyes, short and tall; sporting black leather pants and white shirts. Their black hair was long and shoulder length and if they had been human, they would have been the type of boys that made the girls heart flutter. They were the last three. The end was close. Most of the guardians had gone down in the other tunnels and rooms. The tunnnels traveled far and we were scared that maybe there was more. I couldnt risk it, it was just these three and I knew that there was another guardian and Adrian with me. We could take them out.

The blonde lunged at Guardian Hill, he had come from court a day or two before the attack. He was an older man, in his thirties. This sandy blonde hair and golden eyes, where the first thing I saw when I met him. I didnt have much time with him, but he seemed highly competent and able and I was happy to have him with us. He was fighting, well and took down the girl in a few quick moves. I was battling one of the brothers, while Hill took on other. Adrian was trying to help, sending me spirit and using as much as he could to protect the others as well as me. I could tell he was worried, becuase his emotions flowed through me. I could tell through Adrian that there had been other Stegori in the tunnels, and as much as Adrian wanted to protect only me, he knew he had a duty to everyone. But my mind was on the fight that was here. Looking across the room, I could see Hill's lifeless body lying in his own blood. In a quick move, I managed to stake him through the back. It wasnt before his taller brother had me in his grasps; choking the life out of me. I could feel each blow, as he punched me over and over; each rib in turn. When he showed me his teeth, I knew it was the end. I knew I he would try and change me. I could see my stake on the floor, so close. But Adrians eyes on me was all I could feel.

_**Run Adrian. Run. **_

_**Never. **_

He ran towards me. Everthing was in slow motion, like in the movies. Only this time I couldnt stop it. I couldnt make him leave. I could only see his outline as he blurred because of my tears.

_**Adrian... Dont... Go. Go... Now!**_

With such force that knocked us both, he came. The love of my entire exsistance came pushing the spirit to me. I fell to the floor and Adrian flung his body at the brown haired borther. The pain was intant, I hit a table on the way down and felt glass in my face. Adrian was fighting him off, with power that could stop the world from spinning. He fought so hard, and as I gasped for air, everything suddenly came into focus, as my eyes began to work again. I saw everything and almost wished I had never. The brother pushed Adrian to the floor and began kicking him with such force. I was trying to get to my feet, but my mid was clouded. I couldnt get on my feet because the pain was so blinding. Again and again, kicking again and again. Adrian was slumped over and facing the floor, when the stegori bought him up by the neck. I could see his face, bleeding and bruised. I saw the stegori smile. The type of smile that would haunt me for the rest of my life. And with a shard of glass stabbed Adrian in the heart.

As his eyes rolled back, I knew he was dying. I tried to get up, but I just couldnt. It was like my legs wasnt working. I screamed, a screamed so loud that all noise around me seemed little. Everything seemed sureal, like somehow this was a dream; like this wasnt real. Dropping him to the floor, the stegori walked to me. Everything about him was aggressive and proud. I knew he would kill me to, but I wouldnt give him the benefit of seeing me scared. I squared my shoulders, and looked him in the eyes.

"Do your worst."

Behind him I could see Cluade and four other Guardians running towards him. It didnt take long for them to kill him, but the damage was done. I made my way to Adrian, and as I crawled over the broken glass, I could see he was breathing. Shallow breaths, was all that he could do. His face was bruised and there was blood running from his mouth.

_**You stupid, stupid man. What have you done?**_

__As I reached him and pulled him onto my lap, I could see he was smiling. It was the type of smile I wished I could wake up to every morning, the type of smile that made every problem dissappear. His golden eyes, my golden eyes, stared back at me. But I could tell he wasnt all there. He was leaving and I had to get help.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING CLAUDE? GET HELP! HURRY!"

_**I can heal you Adrian. Let me heal you. **_

_**Its too late for that. Im already gone. **_

_**No your not. Your here with me. See? Everything is going to be fine. Let me help you.**_

I tried. I tried so hard to send my spirit back to him, to heal him and make him better but, it wouldnt go. It was like it was stuck to my skin and it fought against me to leave. I grew tried the more I tried.

_**See? It wants to stay with you. It loves you as much as I do. Come here. Kiss me. **_

There was so much I could have said. I could have told him how angry I was with him, or how lost I would be without him. I could scream and shout and bang my head against the wall but this could be our last moments. His lips tasted of his blood, but I didnt care. I needed him to be ok. I needed him to know how much I loved him and if he left me, I would be ruined. I would be the sad, miserable person I was when Dimitri left. We kissed and I could feel his tears as much as my own.

_**Please dont leave me. Please dont leave me. I need you. Baby, please dont go. **_

_**Take this. **_

I felt the warmth flow through me again. But this time it was like lightning. It was strong and fierce and left me breathless. I felt the burning more than anythin in my stomach, it was like someone had gotten a brand and taken it to my skin. It was burning me from the insides out. But when it was over, I could feel him within me. I could smell him more, and it was then that I knew that he had given me the rest of his spirit.

_**Dont you dare. Dont you dare leave me! **_

_**Rose, you have everything... now. You can have what... you have always ...wanted. I felt it work. You will know when it happens... You will be a great m...**_

_**Please Adrian. I love you. You cant leave me. Just hold on. Someone is coming. Help is coming!**_

"SOMEBODY HELP! ANYBODY! PLEASE! CLAUDE! DIMITRI! PLEASE! SOMEONE! ANYONE!"

_**Im lucky to ... have had you, my... love. You have made... me the happiest man in the... world. I... love ... you...**_

__It was like a rubberband snapping. One second he was here, the next he wasnt. One moment I could feel him under my skin, I could hear him in my mind. But never had the silence been so deffening.

_**ADRIAN! ADRIAN! ADRIAN!**_

"Adrian, wake up. Baby wake up. Please baby. Adrian wake up. Wake up. Please dont go. Come back to me."

I felt a touch on my shoulder, and I turned expecting Claude or a stegori, but it was Dimitri. My tears were flowing, the redness in my cheeks burned and the hole in my heart kept getting bigger.

"Roza... Im so sorry"

"No he is ok. Hes going to be ok. Someone is coming. Hes going to wake up. He is going to wake up."

He looked at me like I was crazy, but I couldnt believe he was gone. He couldnt be. This was not how things should have turned out. We should have the rest of our lives togther. We were ment for each other and each other only. It was me and him and there would be no body else. I just held him close and continued to kiss him and stroke his hair. He still smelt like my Adrian. He was still my Adrian, he would always be mine. He couldnt be gone. He just couldnt.

"Someone is coming. He is going to be ok. He is going to wake up."


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hey guys. Im so sorry for not updating sooner, but I have had some hectic times, so I couldnt. But Im back, and ready to write again. I know alot of you guys are wondering how this is a Dimitri and Rose story, but I can tell you now that it is. You will just have to continue on this journey with me. **_

_**Here goes. **_

_**Much love from me to you **_

_**:)**_

*ROSE POV*

Seconds, minutes, hours; It could have been months for all I knew, not that I cared. I always found myself here, sitting in his room looking our his window. Timed seemed to have stopped and there was nothing left. This pain was different. It was more than anything I had ever felt, and it never stopped; not when I smelt his clothes, not when I held his pillows, not when I clung to his memories, not when I put him in the ground. It never stopped and it never lessened. Everything was him, and I couldnt do anything. He took everything with him, my sight, my mind and my heart. I was nothing but a shell now, a less version of my former happier self. There was nothing I could do, I couldnt fight to get him back, I couldnt claw my way through enemies to bring him home. He was gone and there was nothing no one could ever do to make things right again. It was like the sun had set, and I was in darkness. He was my light, the only light in my life, and now that was gone. And I was alone, alone to fight my battles.

I hadnt been back to my room since Adrian died. I hated it. It reminded of my old life. The one with the girl who was crying over a love who didnt love me back. I didnt want to compare my old life with this one, but I couldnt help but see the similarities. Then I was lost and had not a single soul who truely understood, and now it was the same. Then I felt I could never love again, and now I know that was nothing but the truth in all its ugliness. The people around me could tell me of how they knew how I felt, and that with time things would get better, but it was wasted breath. They didnt know, and they never would. This pain was mine and mine alone; and I couldnt share this with anyone but him. Adrian would know what to do, or what to say, or just do something funny that would chase away the loss. He would look me in the eyes, and I would forget. But he wasnt here, and there was no way I would forget; not now, not ever.

When my mother came to see me, I held my tears. She was always strong and even though I was dying inside, I didnt want her to see me as anything less than what she wanted me to be. She didnt say much, she just held me and stroked my hair. It was the most motherly thing my mother had ever done for me. It was what I needed; I needed my mother and her tender care. She never held me, not even as a child. She never once had shown an ounce of affection or any semblence of a mother - daughter relationship. But in the midst of my dismay, she had done exactly what was required of her; not as a Guardian or a teacher, but as my mother. After what felt like years, she let me go and held me by my shoulders. She looked me straight in the eye, and it seemed like she was looking for the old me in my eyes. She was looking for and sign that I might break and not make it through, but I was certain that she would find no hint. I hid it all too well. Just as she was about to leave she turned and spoke. _**"Now you know Rose. Its the only lesson I could never teach you. Time wont heal you, you will. I know you will."**_ And with that she was gone. It was the only thing that anyone had said to me that made any sense. There was no false sense that things would magically get better with time. It was up to me and on my time. I would get better when I felt like I could, when my heart wouldnt ache as much. It would never be gone, but when it didnt hurt so much would be the time I knew it would be as good as it gets.

"Roza?"

I didnt bother answering or even go to the door when I heard someone knocking. I just didnt care anymore. The person on the other side wouldnt be Adrian, and no one would call my name the way he did. They wouldnt tell me how much they missed me and hold me close, they wouldnt touch my face and wipe my tears and tell me everything is going to be ok; no one ever could. As I heard the door close, I knew he would try again, just like he did yesturday. Dimitri had come to me everyday since we got back. And twice when I buried Adrian. I can still remember that day. Its hard to believe its already been a month, and yet my heart still breaks every second just the same.

"Rose Hathaway would like to say some words."

I could feel the tears running, like they always did. I could feel the burn of my cheeks just as they now always would. But I couldnt bring myself to look at his coffin. My legs felt like jelly, as I took the stairs one agonising step at a time. I could feel my hair on my back, I had left it hanging in loose curls; the way Adrian liked it. I didnt want to wear black, so I wore a red dress, not because I wanted to be different, but because Adrian always said he loved me in that colour. As I reached the podieum, I looked out to the crowd. There sat many of the same people who attended my wedding. Lissa was crying so hard that when she looked at me, I cried more. Dimtiri stood in the back, hands crossed and eyes closed. I knew he was hidding his tears. But I needed to say goodbye to Adrian.

"Before I met Adrian, my life was less. I didnt know anything about true love or what it felt like. And I was completely content with that because I didnt know. I didnt know how much someone could fill your voids, and teach you about yourself, or how much a single touch could take all pain away. But then Adrian came along. He was my friend first, he was the shoulder I cried on, the person I laughed with, and shared meals with. And then he became more. He became the other peice to my heart, the heat under my skin and the rythm in my heart. He was... he is the reason I wake up in the morning. He will never fully understand just how much he saved me and continues to save me everyday. He will always be with me and I will always love him. I will always be his little dhampire."

As I walked over to his coffin and looked at him for the first time, I felt the breath leave me. He could be sleeping, he could be pretending and at any moment he could wake up and tell me how this is all some sick and twisted joke. And as the moments passed, I realised that I was kidding myself. He was gone. He was dressed in a black suit. He still wore his ring, as did I. As I reached over and felt his hand, the cold of his skin stunned me. It was like the final notion that he was really gone. He was still my Adrian and I was still his. And as my lips touched his, I could taste him anymore or feel the electricity between us, all that was left was the salty taste of my own tears.

_**I love you Adrian. I'll see you soon**_

And with that I walked away, past my friends and family. I walked straight to the door and out into the darkness. The cold wind swirled around my hair, as I feel on to my knees and cried whatever tears where left. The sobs hurt my body and I couldnt breath. It was like the air was too thick to enter my body. And I hoped that, that much was true. That some god somewhere had heard my please and had taken pity on me. But when I felt Dimitri's arms around me, I knew I wasnt dying, that would be too easy. And everything in my life was a fight.

"Roza"

"Leave me the fuck alone Dimirtri."

But he didnt. He just held me and carried me back to Adrians room. It was the only time that I had let someone come close to me. I didnt want to betray Adrian by letting anyone near me, but I was too weak to fight. My body was tired, tired of the loss and the fighting. Just as Dimitri was leaving, I spoke.

"Adrian? Is that you? Adrian?"

I must have woken just as he was about to leave. And in my confussion of just waking up, I thought he was here. But he wasnt, he never would be. The silence seemed liked it lasted forever, like there would be some hope; hope that he would turn around and those fimilar green eyes would be staring at me again.

"No Roza, its me."

"He is gone isnt he? I really buried him, didnt I?"

He stood at the door for a moment more before he came and knelt down by my now forever empty bed. He looked at me for a second; he must be thinking of a way to speak the truth so it wouldnt break me furthur. I wanted him to tell me it wasnt real, that I had some sort of mental break, and that Adrian was right around the corner. That we both made it out of the school alive, and that we would continue to be happy. I wanted him to tell me that we killed every single one of them, and left none alive. I wanted him to lie to me, and let me be happy; happy like I was.

"Yes Roza. And I am so sorry."

"I thought you were him. And for a spilt everything was ok. I am alone..."

The tears came back again. I could feel them building and breaking again. I could feel my whole body begin to shake from my core, like my body was again realising the truth. It was always the same, that horrible feeling. It was like standing on the edge of a cliff with that moment of just falling.

"Roza, your never alone."

"Your wrong. Its all I will ever be."

"What do you want Dimitri? This is getting old."

I didnt want anyone around me. It was hard enough that I had to put on a brave face in front of my students and fellow Guardians, I didnt want to have to do it here; not in this place. This place was ours, and for little moments, it still was.

"Are you coming Roza?"

Of course I knew he would come. There had been a wave of new students and I was instructed to head up there training. I had to admit that this was one of the few things I was actually looking forward to. It would be a chance to look into the eyes of people who didnt know my story, and the sadness there. They wouldnt look at me like I was broken and unfixable or that I was some sort of lost cause, not like my friends did. It was a chance to be like I was. I would always hurt and it would never stop, but I had to try.

"Yeah, Im coming."

I didnt wear what I would normally wear to a training session. Before it was all skimpy revealing gear that got looks from Adrian that made my blood boil, now it was long training skins and small black T'shirts. I didnt look like a man, just an underconfident girl. It was the way I felt on the insides. When we arrived at the gym, there was about 15 new recuits. To my suprise there was 8 girls. It was so unsual to have girls want to be apart of this life; they usually opted to fall in love and start a family. It was a dream I would never have. Walking to the front of the room I could feel that old authority come back to me. It wasnt as hard as I thought it would be to talk, to say anything. But once I got started, it was like it had never left me.

"Hello. My name is Guardian Hathaway, and I will be training the majority of you. Im glad to see that there is a higher presence of women here today, and I thank you for accepting this life. Over there the other Guardians that will help with your training. Guardian Belicov will train you in indurance and hand to hand combat, where as Guardian Volin will be teaching you Guardian protacol and stealth."

Looking over at Dimitri, I could see him smirking. It was the type of smirk two best friends exchanged when they knew a secret no one else knew. I didnt know why he was looking at me like that, but quite frankly it irratated me. Something about it didnt feel right. I didnt want any of those old feelings betraying me becuase I was hurting.

"I will be spliting you up into 2 groups to begin with. The girls will be going and training with Guardian Volin and Belicov, whilst the boys will be with me."

Once they seperated, I could look closer at the 7 boys I had to train. Most of them were bulit already and were ready to begin hard training. But there was one who looked a little under prepared. He was and inch taller than me, with black hair and pale skin. He looked muscular, but there didnt appear to be enough to become a full Guardian.

"To start off with, we will be doing nothing but running first. When it comes to fighting the Stegori, your endurance will aid you more than anything I will teach you. If you cannot get your stamina up to where I need it to be, you should leave and work on that independantly. I wont waste time on slowing down for any of you, because out there you cant call breaks to catch your breath. So to begin 10 laps of the oval. Once you have finished that there will be a 2 minute interval, then another 5 laps. Off you go. You, come here."

As I pointed to the boy, he walked over to me. He didnt look me in the eyes. He was looking down at the floor with his hands behind his back. There was something about him, that made me feel like the whole world underestimated him, and that underneath all this shynes was a strong fighter. We needed as many new Guardians as we could get, so there was no way I would let a recuit leave on my watch. Even with everything that was happening around me and my heart, I knew my duty. I knew I couldnt simply give up on that, because if I did that, people could die. And there had already been more than enough death.

"Whats your name?"

He looked up at me, and when I saw his face, I could understand why he shyed away. Across his face there was a horrible scar. It made his left eye drop a little, and there was still a pinkness to it. It must have been just recently made, because it looked like it was still in the process of healing. It traveled from the corner of his left eye to the bridge of his nose. It was the first thing you saw about, and even though it didnt take anything away from his looks, it was hard to take your eyes away from it.

"My name is Cameron, Cameron Haynes."

"Well Cameron, you need to put some weight on. It will help you not only in my classes, but that of the other Guardians classes."

"I have been trying to. But since the attack, I havent been able to put much on."

"What attack?"

"Before I came here, I lived in Europe with my parents who were also Guardians. I was going to go to the accademy there, but when my parents were taken and turned, the accademy there decided that it would be better for me to attend somewhere away from that. My parents came back for me, just as I was about to leave and when I turned down there offer, my father tried to kill me. I was left with this scar and the memory of my own flesh and blood trying to erase my exsistance."

"How long ago was this?"

"Just a little over 2 months. I stayed in Europe until they were certain I wouldnt turn and to make sure my injuries were nearly complete. I nearly lost my eye, and had a major infection and lost alot of weight. About 3 weeks ago I moved here and have been trying to adjust, but there have been problems with my eye. This is one of the first training sessions I have ever had. They nearly took me out of the programme, but once my eye problems were fixed, the accademy couldnt see a reason not to let me in."

"Well Cameron, Im not going to go easy on you. I want you to become the best that you can be and that wont happen if I sugar coat it for you. You will fight and hurt through this process and because of that you will become a better Guardian for it."

"Thats all I ask Guardian Hathaway. I dont want anyones pity."

With a slight head bow he was off doing the laps just like everybody else. And for the first time, I felt sorry for someone other than myself.

*DIMITRI POV*

It had been a couple days into our training sessions, when I noticed a change in Roza. It wasnt anything drastic or overly noticeable, but it was there. It was in the way she walked into the room, the way she did her hair, and most of all the blush she got when she thought no one was watching. But I was watching; I would watch her for the rest of my life. But I could see her begining to come back. There was a fire in her. I thought she had lost it forever when Adrian had died. I can still remember a night that will haunt me forever.

Like every night since we came back, I found myself wondering the corridors; the ones just outside their room. It had been nearly a fortnight since we returned and a week after Adrians burial. It was the hardest thing for me to see, and I couldnt imagine what Roza was going through. Even though she was no longer mine, if she was the one in that coffin, cold and lifeless, I dont think I would have been able to stand let alone speak. But she took everything with such great strength. Even as she stood up saying things from the heart to him, she looked strong. I could tell she was breaking, and the look in her eyes, told me she was on the edge and was trying her hardest to be the Guardian everyone knew she was. Even as she feel to her knees and sobbed into my chest, she was still the strongest person I had ever known. And ever since that night, I couldnt help but find myself not to far away from her door. She wouldnt let me near her, but I understood as much. But when I heard her scream, I rushed to help her.

she was laying in their bed, sweat covering her forehead and the tears where running down her face. The whole bed was shaking, as she fought the demons of her dreams. It was something I would never forget. And as I rushed towards her I could hear her calling out to him, begging him not to leave her. She was crying and begging, for someone that would never come. As I touched her shoulders, I felt her body was on fire. It was like there was multin under her skin, and after a short while shaking her she woke. She looked at me, and I could tell she was so scared. I had never seen her scared in my life, but with the way she was looking now, I didnt want to ever see it. The fear that burned in her eyes, made me freeze.

"Adr... no..."

"No Roza. Its me again. Im sorry, I heard you scream."

"I blame you. I blame you for everything."

That had taken me back. Ever since I returned, she had never come out and say they words. Of course there were inuendos, but she had never been so blunt. And this moment I couldnt understand why she would bring this up now. There had been plenty of opportunities to hang me from the gallows, but she never took it.

"Why? Roza I know I shouldnt have come into your room..."

"Our room."

"Im sorry."

"Are you? If you hadnt left, I wouldnt be feeling this right now. Adrian wouldnt have run to save me, he would have been here joking and laughing and safe. He would have But hes not. Hes dead and buried and under the ground and its all your fault. I would have never been broken, and he wouldnt have needed to fix me... And then... I wouldnt be... so alone... "

Even though she was yelling and screaming at me, I couldnt help but feel like she had a point. Me leaving was the worst decision I had ever made, and I would regret it for the rest of my life, but I never thought it would change everything like it did. Adrians love would have gone unrequited and eventually moved on, Roza and I would have been happily in love and everything would have been perfect, but it wasnt and it was truely my fault.

"Roza..."

"Dont. I know I shouldnt be mad at you but I cant help it. With Adrian gone, its like there is nothing there. It doesnt stop, not for a single second. I wished it had been me, and then I wouldnt feel this way. Death would have been easier."

"Easier for who? If it had been you, Adrian would be going through what your going through, and Im sure he wouldnt be able to keep it all together like you have been."

"Does it look like Im keeping it together. Every morning I wake up thinking he will be there, or every corner I turn he will be waiting for me just around the bend. Everytime its like the cut is fresh again. Its like I lost him all over again."

She was so beautiful, that it still hurt. The way her hair flowed, brought back so many memories. They hurt more than anything I would ever know.

"I wont tell you that it gets easier, it doesnt. And there is nothing I can say that will make all of it go away, but I want you to know that I am here. I know I havent been the best person to you and I know that my word may not mean the same thing it did before, but I will be here for you whenever you need me to be. If you want to yell or scream or beat the living crap out of something, Im here. I wasnt there for you before, but Im here now."

"Things would have been so different."

"I know."

"I cant help but think how different. Adrian was my everything and still is. I cant even imagine moving on. How will I ever find happiness again?"

"I know what you mean. I feel the same way, but I think you just have to ind beauty in the little things, and let them bring you back. I know Adrian would want you to be happy and move on."

"Yeah, and Im sure you would love that, wouldnt you."

"Roza, If you ever came back to me, it would be a miracle. And I would thank the heavens above. But I know that will never happen. I know that you cant go back. But I know Adrians sacrifice was the last thing he could give you, and I know he would want you happy. I know that the thought of you wasting away in his name, would be the last thing he would want."

"You know I would have given anything to be able to have a baby with you. I really thought that, thats what we needed."

This was a direction that I thought would never happen. I knew that she was still torn up about it, but she never said anything that would even resemble that conversation. it was hard to think that I was the cause of her uncertancy, and it would walk with me every step of my life. But more than that, I wish too that a child was a possiblity for us. But now that Roza was out of my life in that sense, just having her would be enough.

"I know."

"Adrian never brought it up, never said anything about it.

And then she did something I never thought she would do willingly. She got up, letting her silk gown flow to the floor and knelt on the ground with me. She wrapped her arms around me, and held me close. She still smelt the same, she still felt the same and for a second we were still the same. I could feel her trembling, and the wetness of her tears on my shoulder. I would spend the rest of my life being whatever she needed me to be, and I would do it gladly.

"Dont leave me too Comrade."

"Never again."

We held each other until sleep took her away again. I wasnt the type of embrace that gave me hope, because I know there would never be hope for us again, it was the type a friend gave to another friend. And thats all that I would ever be.

"DIMITRI!"

"Yeah, sorry I was daydreaming. Roza what is it?"

"You didnt hear anything I just said did you?"

"No sorry. Whats wrong?'

"I need to talk to you."

"Ok. Shoot go."

"Not here. Come."

She grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back of the gym. She was smiling, like a full on megawatt smile. It was the type of smile that stopped guys in there tracks and vowed to become hers. I missed that smile. It had vanished since Adrian had left; something was up. When we reached the back of the room, she looked at me.

_**You know you can hear me right comrade**_

It was strange that she hadnt told anyone about her new found talent, and she hadnt told me the full story of how she came to obtain them, but I knew it had something to do with Adrian. There was nothing that he wouldnt do for her, and I could understand. It still amazed me that she could do it, and when she talked to me through minds, it was something that left me feeling whatever feeling she was feeling. And right now she was feeling pure joy; a joy I thought she would never see again.

_**Yes Roza. Why are we talking like this?**_

_**Just wait, I want to show you something. Something that I have been trying to do, but never could do it. But Adrian showed me.**_

_**What? Adrian showed you?**_

_**He came to me, in my dreams. I knew he would come back. **_

_**Roza...**_

_**I know but just watch.**_

__She then concentrated hard; the little lines formed on her head and I could tell this was taking alot of effort. But with her palm raised she made a little fire ball, the type that Christian had made on many occasions. With a smile at my shocked expression, she winked. She actually winked. Then suddenly forming around fire ball was tiny water droplets. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. She had her eyes closed and was blushing; a telltale sign she was thinking of something that brought her happiness. Suddenly a gust of wind picked up and blew the balls so that they were glowing throughout the room. It had caught the attention of all the other people in the room. The room felt like summer, like there was a warm breeze on the back of my neck, and the sun touching my skin. She was doing all of this. And just as soon as it had come it was gone.

_**What the hell was that? **_

_**Another gift from Adrian.**_

_**What are you talking about Roza? Adrian is gone, he is dead.**_

_**No, hes back. **_

This was the break we were all waiting for, the one we knew was coming. I seriously thought that she was making strides back to being somewhat normal, but this was crazy. There was no way that she could bring back people from the dead no matter what type of magic she possessed. She was looking at me like I had to believe her, no matter how crazy she sounded. I did say I would be there for her no matter what, and I guess with was the what.

"Roza, you cant be serious."

"Just watch this."

She concerntrated again. This time instead of elements forming in front of my eyes, I could see a beach. It was beautiful; the type of image you would see on a distant postcard. The water was the deepest blue and the sand was goldern brown. And there sitting on a chair was a man. I man I knew. Adrian. As he walked towards me, I could begin to feel what he must have been feeling, pure satisfaction. With a smirk only known to him, he walked up to me and touched my shoulder. It was as if I felt it on my own very shoulder. This had to be a dream, there was no way that this could be anything but a dream, or some sort of crazy hullucination. Then he spoke and sounded everything like he did.

_**Did you really think you could get rid of me that easy Belicov?**_


End file.
